


B   R   U   H

by AndPegggggy



Series: B R U H [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: And Lots of It, But especially for this, Chatting & Messaging, Established Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Established Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Established Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Established Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Group Chat Fic, Haikyuu!! Group Chat, Hinata just adds them all at once, Implied Sexual Content, It gets better I promise, Kageyamas cousin is Haru from Free! if you didn't realize lol, M/M, Maybe other sports animes mentioned???, NOT FINISHED AND NOT UPDATING RN, Swearing, Texting, Wait I need actual tags tho, come back in a week or two idk, established tsukishima kei/yamaguchi tadashi, i hope it does, i think it does, its been 3 months whoops, unfinished while i rewrite the current chapters, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24295672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndPegggggy/pseuds/AndPegggggy
Summary: ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICEAKAAASHIII: Once you kicked Kuroo in his shins and ran away when he tried to pick you up.Pudding Head: well yeah but he deserved thatAKAAASHIII: He had bruises on his shins.Pudding Head: yes, I was violent but he deSERVED IT
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: B R U H [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846948
Comments: 105
Kudos: 345





	1. Hinata why would you make a group chat like seriously dude???

**Author's Note:**

> Username Guide:
> 
> Shoyou Hinata: Tiny Giant 2.0  
> Tobio Kageyama: Bakageyama  
> Kei Tsukishima: Saltyshima  
> Tadashi Yamaguchi: G u c c i™  
> Yu Nishinoya: Guardian Deity  
> Ryunosuke Tanaka: Bald  
> Chikara Ennoshita: En-NO-shita  
> Asahi Azumane: Negative Goatee  
> Koushi Sugawara: Mr. Refreshing  
> Daichi Sawamura: Team Dad™  
> Shimizu Kiyoko: Goddess™  
> Hitoka Yachi: Scared  
> Yui Michimiya: Michigan  
> Tetsuro Kuroo: Bedhead  
> Morisuke Yaku: Demon Senpai  
> Yamamoto: City Boy  
> Kenma: Pudding Head  
> Lev Haiba: RA RA RASPUTIN  
> Oikawa: Trash™  
> Matsukawa: Eyebrows™  
> Hanamaki: Pink Haired Bitch  
> Iwaizumi: Muscle Man  
> Yahaba: Yahaba  
> Kindaichi: Onion Head  
> Kunimi: bleh  
> Kyotani: MadDog  
> Bokuto: Horned Owl Bastard  
> Akaashi: AKAAASHIII  
> Ushijima: Ushiwaka  
> Semi Eita: Semi Semi  
> Tendou: Guess Monster™  
> Goshiki: Future Ace™  
> Shirabu: An Annoying Asshole  
> Aone: No-Eyebrows  
> Futakuchi: Futakuchi  
> Koganegawa: Chuck  
> Konoha: Konoha  
> Komi: Komi  
> Sarukui: I'm not smiling I swear  
> Ojiro Aran: Ritz Crackers  
> Kita Shinsuke: Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke  
> Suna Rintarou: Suna  
> Miya Atsumu: Sangwoo/Burnt Ashes™  
> Miya Osamu: The Normal One
> 
> Not every username here is gonna appear at first!!!
> 
> The writing gets better I swear
> 
> Or at least I hope so

Tiny Giant 2.0 has created a new conversation

Tiny Giant 2.0 has changed the group chat name to Volleyball Is L I F E

Tiny Giant 2.0 has added Bakageyama, Saltyshima, G u c c i™, and 35 others to Volleyball Is L I F E

[Volleyball Is L I F E]

2:13 AM

Tiny Giant 2.0: i made a group chat!!! beecauss wehy not!!!

Saltyshima: *because 

Saltyshima: *why

Tiny Giant 2.0: SHUT UP 

Saltyshima: No thank you.

G u c c i™: Why are you always picking fights with Tsukki???

Tiny Giant 2.0: Bcuz i have to let saltyshima know that im sUPERIOR

Saltyshima: *Because

Saltyshima: *I'm

Saltyshima: Hard to be superior when everyone's taller than you isn't it.

Tiny Giant 2.0: I WIL FIGHT YOU

Bakageyama: I mean, he's right, I'm pretty sure Noya-san is the only one shorter than you

Tiny Giant 2.0: I'LL FIGHT YOU TOO KAGEYAMA

G u c c i™: Hinata please stop fighting people 

Tiny Giant 2.0: I'LL FIGHT ANYONE WHO CALLS ME SHORT

Saltyshima: Hinata is a very short person

Bakageyama: HINATA IS SUPER SHORT AND ALSO A DUMBASS

Tiny Giant 2.0: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL ME A DUMBASS IM OLDER THAN BOTH OF YOU

Saltyshima: A fact that haunts me every day.

4:00 AM

Mr.Refreshing: uhhhh

Mr.Refreshing: Why must all my children be so angry???/

Team Dad™: maybe because they're not your children???

Mr. Refreshing: ok first of all, r u d e

Mr. Refreshing: second of all: they'll be my children if i want them to be

Mr. Refreshing: Third of all, you can't talk your name is Team Dad for a reason

Team Dad™: I didn't choose the life of everyone forcefully telling me: "dAiChI yOu'Re ThE tEaM dAd BeCaUsE i ReFuSe To LeT a DiRtY cOwArD LiKe AsAhI bE tEaM dAd."

Negative Goatee: why am I the one constantly being bullied

Mr. Refreshing: maybe you wouldn't be bullied so much if you weren't such a c o w a r d

Bakageyama: uhh ok

Bakageyama: wtf is this and why am i here

Tiny Giant 2.0: ITS A GRP CHAT

Saltyshima: *GROUP

Bedhead: No need to be so violent Tsukki, stop yelling in all caps

Saltyshima: Don't call me Tsukki 

Bedhead: Freckles calls you Tsukki

Saltyshima: Yamaguchi isn't an annoying asshole 

An Annoying Asshole: Did someone summon me

Bakageyama: who the fuck are you

Tiny Giant 20: stoppo cursing so much

Saltyshima: *stop

Mr. Refreshing: uhhh anyways...

Mr. Refreshing: Hinata.... how many people did you add to this chat???

Tiny Giant 2.0: ummmm... a lot???

Mr. Refreshing: Hinata pretty much every volleyball team is here

Mr. Refreshing: how did you manage to get their phone numbers????

Tiny Giant 2.0: uhhHHHH

Tiny Giant 2.0: no comment

7:00 AM

Pudding Head: Hinata wtf is this

Pudding Head: take me out of it

Tiny Giant 2.0: sorry Kenma!!! I can't do that!!! and you can't leave!!!!

Pudding Head: what did I do to deserve going to this hell of a chat

AKAAASHIII: Well,

AKAAASHIII: Once you kicked Kuroo in his shins and ran away when he tried to pick you up.

Pudding Head: well yeah but he deserved that

AKAAASHIII: He had bruises on his shins.

Pudding Head: yes, I was violent but he deSERVED IT

Horned Owl Bastard: i'm not suprised, kenma seems like the type of person to do that

AKAAASHIII: Bokuto you were the one to tell him he should try to lift Kenma up.

Horned Owl Bastard: oop

Bedhead: *breathes in*

Bedhead: BROKUTO, MY BRO, HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THAT

Horned Owl Bastard: BRO I DIDN'T KNOW KENMA WAS SO VIOLENT

Bedhead: HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW??? 

Horned Owl Bastard: I MEAN KENMA'S NEVER KICKED ME!1!1! MAYBE UR JUST A VERY KICKABLE PERSON???

Bedhead: It's too late bro

Horned Owl Bastard: bro???

Bedhead: I thought you were bae,

Horned Owl Bastard: b r o

Bedhead: turns out you're just fam.

Horned Owl Bastard: is deceased

7:30 AM

AKAAASHIII: Kuroo, did you have to do that

Bedhead: y e s 

AKAAASHIII: a p o l o g i z e

Bedhead: 

AKAAASHIII:

Bedhead:

AKAASHIII:

Bedhead:

Bedhead: ...

Bedhead: smh fine

5:00 PM

Tiny Giant 2.0: today kageyama told me that I look like: "A tangerine that never shuts up"

RA RA RASPUTIN: i mean

RA RA RASPUTIN: you do look like one

RA RA RASPUTIN: your hair looks like

RA RA RASPUTIN: o r a n g e c h e e t o d u s t

Demon Senpai: what the fuck Lev

Tiny Giant 2.0: Yeah what the fuck Lev???

Bald: First of all... Lev wtf is wrong with you

Bald: and second of all why is hinata cursing??? 

Tiny Giant 2.0: Kageyama said that only tall pepole can curse so I had to prove hiM WRONG

Saltyshima: *people

Saltyshima: I'm starting to think that Kageyama and Hinata are even dumber than I imagined

Tiny Giant 2.0: literally go die tsukishima

G u c c i™: if Tsukki could not die that would be nice

Saltyshima: I've had to spend so much time with the King and the "tangerine" that I'm already dead inside

6:00 PM

Trash™: yoohoooo ヾ(^▽^*)))

Trash™: The real king is here!!! *★,°*:.☆(￣▽￣)/*★,°*:.☆


	2. Oikawa is here and uhh yeah that's it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically everyone bullying Oikawa because that's the one thing they would probably all love to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so that summary is wrong
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to my friend who wanted me to call her Rat-girl, she just said and I quote: "SHOW ME THE DEDICATION" then told me to do this and I mean why not so yeah shout out to her even though she'll never see this.
> 
> Remember to always:  
> (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ B U L L Y O I K A W A ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

6:00 PM

Trash™: yoohoooo ヾ(^▽^*)))

Trash™: The real king is here!!! *★,°*:.☆(￣▽￣)/*★,°*:.☆

Muscle Man: 💩

Trash™: Iwa-chaaaan 

Trash™: ಥ_ಥ

Trash™: You should be nicer to me!!!

Muscle Man: 💩💩💩

Eyebrows™: 💩

Makki: 💩

Tiny Giant 2.0: I think that Oikawa's super cool!!!

Bakageyama: 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩

Saltyshima: wow... the king seems pretty salty...

Saltyshima: 💩

G u c c i™: 💩💩

Guardian Deity: 💩

Bald: 💩

En-NO-shita: 💩

Negative Goatee: Uh isn't this kinda mean

Mr. Refreshing: no, not really 💩💩💩

Team Dad™: I mean I don't encourage bullying but... 💩

Goddess™: Oikawa doesn't seem like a very nice person 💩

Scared: I mean if Shimizu-senpai says it's ok... 💩

Trash™: what did I do to the managers????

Michigan: The other 3rd years say you're an asshole sooo 💩

Trash™: You aren't even on the volleyball team???

Bedhead: 💩💩💩

Demon Senpai: 💩

City Boy: 💩💩💩

Pudding Head: 💩

RA RA RASPUTIN: 💩

Yahaba: Everyone should stop being so mean to Oikawa!!!

Onion Head: 💩

Bleh: 💩

Mad Dog: 💩💩💩

Horned Owl Bastard: 💩 tHIS IS FUN 💩💩💩

Ushiwaka: You should have come to Shiratorizawa

Semi Semi: 💩

Guess Monster™: 💩💩💩

Future Ace™: 💩???

An Annoying Asshole: 💩💩💩💩💩

Trash™:...

Trash™: I've decided that Yahaba is my new favorite.

Trash™: Wait what the fuck why is Ushiwaka here

Trash™: f u c k y o u u s h i w a k a

Trash™ has left the chat. 

Tiny Giant 2.0: I L L E G A L

Tiny Giant 2.0 has added Trash™ to Volleyball Is L I F E

Tiny Giant 2.0: ur not allowed ot leaave

Saltyshima: You're

Saltyshima: *to

Saltyshima: *leave

Tiny Giant 2.0: s h u t u p 

Trash™: this chat is hell

Trash™: And everyone's bullying me!!! Me!!! I'm a great person!!!! What did I do to deserve this???

AKAAASHIII: Once in middle school you tried to punch Kageyama in the face because he asked you to teach him how to serve.

Trash™: How did you know that???

AKAAASHIII: I have my sources.

Trash™: IT'S A CONSPIRACY

Trash™: I bet that "AKAAASHIII" is an alien

AKAAASHIII" Uh, no.

Horned Owl Bastard: AGGHHAAAAASSSSHEE is an alien then are all the aliens stupidly pretty or just him.

Trash™: I bet I'm prettier than Mr. "not an alien".

Bedhead: Actually I think Akaashi wins.

Trash™: There is literally no way. 

Horned Owl Bastard: Yeah I gotta say, AGGHHHAAAAAASHEEEEE is probably prettier than you.

Trash™: r u d e

Trash™: what does Mr. "Not an alien" even look like???

Trash™: Actually it doesn't matter I'm prettier than him anyway'

Horned Owl Bastard: https://haikyuu.fandom.com/wiki/Keiji_Akaashi?file=Akaashi_s4-e12-2.png

Horned Owl Bastard: https://haikyuu.fandom.com/wiki/Keiji_Akaashi?file=Akaashi_Keiji.jpg

Trash™: b r u h

Trash™: no matter, I'm prettier than akaashi and that's a fact

AKAAASHIII: I honestly could not care less about this conversation

Bedhead: LET'S HAVE A VOTE TO DECIDE! PICK YOUR VOTE, WHO'S THE PRETTIER SETTER: OIKAWA OR AKAASHI?

Bedhead: My votes on Akaashi

Horned Owl Bastard: I PICK THE MOST BEAUTIFULLEST SETTER AKAASHI

AKAAASHIII: Bokuto, beautifullest isn't a word.

Pudding Head: I choose Akaashi. He's also, from what I can tell, way less annoying

Muscle Man: Is this really necessary, we all choose Akaashi, Oikawa's a piece of shit. He also has a piece of shit personality, and that's that.

Trash™: I'm nOT A PIECE OF SHIT

Eyebrows™: Everything about you screams: "a piece of shit" even your hair

Trash™: shut the fuck up

Bakageyama: Once you held a pool party at your house for the whole team and you knew that I couldn't swim and you dared everyone to jump into the deep end so you could "take a picture of all the fun memories" but then you told everyone else not to jump in and bribed them then let me jump in by myself and let me drown for a good 10 seconds before saving me and acting like it was an accident.

Tiny Giant 2.0: uhhh Kageyama you good

Scared: That's???? attempted murder??????

Bakageyama: I'm fine I wasn't hurt

Mr. Refreshing: you sound e m o t i o n a l l y hurt????

Bakageyama: IDK what that means

Saltyshima: It means that you're really fucking dumb and you probably have some kind of trust issues now.

Bakageyama: oh

Trash™: I didn't know that he couldn't swim

Bakageyama: I don't think that's true

Trash™: no it's definitely true

Muscle Man: Yeah Oikawa that sounds like a bit much

Ushiwaka: It's OK Oikawa. Here at Shiratorizawa, we don't reprimand members for doing harmful things to their peers. Come to Shiratorizawa. Become one of us.

Trash™: what the actual fuck get away from me

Guess Monster™: The other day you were mad I tried to set the gym on fire

Ushiwaka: Yes. Because if you're going to start a fire, do it near someplace that needs to burn down. Like Aoba Johsai High, for example.

Guess Monster™: A R S O N

Trash™: what the fuck they're planning to set the school on fire what the fuck

Trash™: This is a fucking fever dream isn't it

Tiny Giant 2.0: no??? This is a group chat???? whats a fever dream????

Saltyshima: *what's

Pudding Head: A fever dream is basically when you have a fever and have a dream that's really fucking weird that makes you think: "what the actual fuck was that"

Bakageyama: oh yeah I think that story was a fever dream than

Trash™: see??? I'm innocent

Muscle Man: If everyone believes that it could have happened that means that 1: you probably thought about doing it at some point and 2: that your personality is so shitty that when someone says you did something really fucking stupid everyone automatically believes them because yes, you would do something like that.

Trash™: Everyone here is so meeeaaannn

Trash™: Especially Iwa-chaaaaann

Trash™: But I'll forgive you...If you let me feel your muscles (✿◠‿◠)

Demon Senpai: This whole chat is a fever dream what the fuck

Muscle Man: NO FUCKING THANKS OIKAWA

Scared: Mom come pick me up I'm scared

Mr. Refreshing: It's too late. We're trapped.

En-NO-Shita: Me and my background character ass didn't sign up for this shit

Trash™: Iwa-chan is a rude, rude man who won't let me feel his muscles ╰（‵□′）╯

Muscle Man: hmm wonder why he wouldn't let you do that

Trash™: Yea he's so mean right

Muscle Man: I literally give up 

Muscle Man: All for murdering Oikawa and finally taking out the trash?

Muscle Man: Actually who am I kidding 

Muscle Man has removed Oikawa from Volleyball Is L I F E'

Muscle Man: Finally took out the trash

Muscle Man: If anyone of you lets Oikawa bribe you back in jusskarnga;krgna;rnakrntanl oikawaaklrlka

Muscle Man added Trash™ to Volleyball Is L I F E

Muscle Man: sltknhsltynjesltnyetsh

Pudding Head: Oh my fucking god he fuckin dead

Trash™: Ushiwaka you're next

Bedhead: Well shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Number of spelling/grammar mistakes in the whole fic according to Grammarly which needs to shut up and stop judging my life choices: 54
> 
> AKAASHI IS THE PRETTIEST SETTER WE ALL KNOW IT'S TRUE  
> not that the other setters aren't pretty but Akaashi wins for sure
> 
> I didn't mean for Oikawa to go total psycho towards the end that kinda just... happened
> 
> Idk what I was planning for this chapter but this wasn't it
> 
> (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ B U L L Y O I K A W A ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)


	3. Let's play some gamesssss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They play games.  
> That's it that's the chapter.  
> Why are you still reading this they play games that's it I swear???  
> Oh yeah and a ship is revealed???  
> Maybe I shoulda put that first.  
> Lol nah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I put Kuroo in this chapter more than I had to and I honestly don't know why since he's not even in my top five???
> 
> Oh yeah this will have a part two!!!
> 
> I mean I'd put him at like seven but...

Tiny Giant 2.0: we haven't used this chat in years let's play a gameeeee

Bakageyama: It's literally been less than a day

Tiny Giant 2.0: Exactly!!!!! It's been way too long!!!!

Saltyshima: I was living a perfectly good life without this chat

Tiny Giant 2.0: G A M E

AKAAASHIII: A game could be fun.

Horned Owl Bastard: If AGGHAAASHHEEEE says it might be cool then I'll totally play a game!!!

Bedhead: Kenma

Bedhead: kenma

Bedhead: kenma

Bedhead: kenm a 

Bedhead: k e n m a

Bedhead: k e n M A 

Bedhead: K

Bedhead: E

Bedhead: N

Bedhead: M

Bedhead: A

Pudding Head: What 

Bedhead: Let's play a game

Pudding Head: I'm already playing a game

Bedhead: Let's play a game h e r e

Pudding Head: yeah no thanks

Bedhead: I'll get you apple pie

Pudding Head: ...

Pudding Head: What kind of games

Tiny Giant 2.0: FUN GAMES!!!

Bedhead: shorty that doesn't answer the question

Tiny Giant 2.0: I'M NOT SHORT

Saltyshima: "Tiny" is literally in your username

Tiny Giant 2.0: yah but im nOT SHORT

G u c c i™: Speaking of usernames, Kenma why's yours Pudding Head if ur favorite food is apple pie???

Pudding Head: because Lev is really annoying and wouldn't leave me alone until I changed it

RA RA RASPUTIN: im not annoying :(

Demon Senpai: yes you are

RA RA RASPUTIN: :((

Demon Senpai: what is that thing

RA RA RASPUTIN: :(((

Demon Senpai: get it away from me

RA RA RASPUTIN: I'm not annoying :((((

Demon Senpai: Fine, you're not annoying SOMETIMES

Bedhead: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Demon Senpai: n O

Bedhead: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tiny Giant 2.0: anywayyy...

Tiny Giant 2.0: wHO ELSE WANTS TO PLAY

Mr. Refreshing: I'll play

Team Dad™: I mean i have nothing better to do

Trash™: Me and Iwa-chan are playing!!! （＾∀＾●）ﾉｼ

Muscle Man: why am I playing?

Trash™: because all you do is volleyball and schoolwork!!! ヾ(•ω•`)o

Muscle Man: Yeah because that's what I need to do???

Trash™: the point is... you're playing this game

Muscle Man: I honestly couldn't care less at this point

Trash™: ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

No-Eyebrows: Me

Futakuchi: Me and Aone are playing i guess

Yahaba: I'll play

Scared: I guess I'll play...

Guess Monster™: LET'S PLAY SOME GAMES

Ushiwaka: Will truth or dare be one of the games?

Tiny Giant 2.0: Y ES 

Ushiwaka: Then I will be playing too.

Future Ace™: I'll Play!!!

Saltyshima: Why is everyone using so many exclamation points

G u c c i™: Because using them is fun Tsukki!!!

Saltyshima: I don't see your point but whatever.

Tiny Giant 2.0: What game should we play?

Bedhead: We're playing fmk

Tiny Giant 2.0: what's that

Bedhead: Of course you don't know, innocent chld, you're oblivious to the horrors of this cruel world we live in. Alas, I'll tell you, because that's just how nice I am.

Tiny Giant 2.0: Yeah ok but I still don't know what that means

Bedhead: It stands for fuck, marry, kill

Mr. Refreshing: I leave my phone for ONE SECOND to get a drink and the first thing I see is my child's mind being forever corrupted.

Bedhead: All due respect but your kid is kind of a dumbass

Mr. Refreshing: I mean It's true but you shouldn't say it 

Pudding Head: Are we going to start or can I leave

Bedhead: nuh uh

Bedhead: I'LL ASK SOMEONE FIRST

Bedhead: AKAASHI

AKAAASHIII: I'm still here, no need to yell.

Bedhead: Who says I was yelling???

AKAAASHIII: I know you, you were yelling.

Bedhead: Anyway...

Bedhead: Me, bokuto, kenma

AKAAASHIII: Kill you, marry Kenma, fuck Bokuto.

Bedhead: R U D E

AKAAASHIII: It would be pretty rude of me if I'd chosen to kill my own boyfriend Kuroo.

AKAAASHIII: Also, you're very annoying most of the time. 

Tiny Giant 2.0: boyfriend???

AKAAASHIII: Oh, did I say that?

AKAAASHI: Then yes, Bokuto is my boyfriend.

Horned Owl Bastard: I am?

AKAAASHIII: Yes.

Saltyshima: How do you forget that you're dating someone?

Horned Owl Bastard: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DREAM???

Saltyshima: Breaking News: You're really fucking dumb.

Saltyshima: I'll go next. 

Saltyshima: Shorty: Kageyama, Yachi, Yamaguchi.

Tiny Giant 2.0: DON'T CALL ME SHORT!!!

Saltyshima: Just answer the question.

Tiny Giant 2.0: Uhhh

Tiny Giant 2.0: Kill Kageyama

Bakageyama: DUMBASS

Tiny Giant 2.0: I'd feel to bad if I killed Yachi or Yamaguchi and you were the only one left so

Tiny Giant 2.0: I mean I'd feel bad if I killed you but Saltyshima would kill me if I killed Yamaguchi and Yachi's too nice to die

Tiny Giant 2.0: also kiyoko would be sad if Yachi died

Tiny Giant 2.0: ok then uhhhh

Tiny Giant 2.0: I fuck Yamaguchi and marry Yachi!!!

Bakageyama: what

Saltyshima: w h a t

G u c c i™: w h a t 

Scared: w h a t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what's going on anymore.


	4. Let's play some gamesssss Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> G A M E S

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruh I wrote a note t w i c e and it got deleted both times I give up
> 
> I listened to 7 -Seven- by FLOW and GRANRODEO the whole time I was writing this and I can't find it in me to regret doing that.

Team Dad™: Is this the part where we get bored and play a new game???

Mr. Refreshing: yeah probably

Trash™: Truth Or Dare!!!: 

Trash™: uhh I don't know your names so the Russian one???

RA RA RASPUTIN: me???

Trash™: ye

RA RA RASPUTIN: "ye"

Trash™: struth or dare

RA RA RASPUTIN: "struth"

Trash™: shu t

Trash™: do you have a crush???

RA RA RASPUTIN: ...

RA RA RASPUTIN: m a y h a p s

Trash™: h A

Trash™: By the end of this I'll know everyone's secrets

RA RA RASPUTIN: uhh...ok??

RA RA RASPUTIN: anyway it's my turn so uh

RA RA RASPUTIN: FUTURE ACE!!!

Future Ace™: that's me!

RA RA RASPUTIN: truth or dare

Future Ace™: truth

RA RA RASPUTIN: hmm... I see...a...

RA RA RASPUTIN: c o w a r d

Future Ace™: I- 

Future Ace™: fine I choose dare then

RA RA RASPUTIN: I dare you to slap the person on your team you hate the most and act like it never happened. Ignore them until they confront you about it, then when they do slap them again.

Future Ace™:

Future Ace™: tf is wrong with you

RA RA RASPUTIN: (´･ω･`)?

Bedhead: Never trust anyone at Nekoma

Future Ace™: uhhh ok

Future Ace™: Well since it's the weekend I can't do it now...

RA RA RASPUTIN: film it then

Future Ace™: smh fine

Future Ace™: no-eyebrows

Future Ace™: Truth or dare

No-Eyebrows: (⊙_⊙) 

No-Eyebrows: Dare

Future Ace™: I dare you... to shave your head!

Futakuchi: o o f 

No-Eyebrows: (T_T)

No-Eyebrows:

Futakuchi: I'm going instead of Aone since he only talks when necessary, which apparently includes group chats

Futakuchi: Daichi

Team Dad™: t r u t h 

Futakuchi: Are you and the vice-captain dating???

Mr. Refreshing: I've been caught

G u c c i™: Well now but what about that one time...

Mr. Refreshing: That doesn't count

Team Dad™: anyway lol yes to ur question Futakuchi

Michigan: h u h

Michigan: I feel dumb how did I not s e e t h i s

Mr. Refreshing: If it makes you feel better Asahi only found out because I kissed Daichi in front of him once

Michigan: that sounds like a bad decision

Team Dad™: yeah it was he started freaking out 

Team Dad™: hmmm

Team Dad™: Ushiwaka

Team Dad™: Truth or dare

Ushiwaka: I'll go with truth

Team Dad™: Why does half of your team look like they're constantly judging everyone around them?

Ushiwaka: Because they are. 

Ushiwaka: Here at Shiratorizawa, you are taught from the beginning that everyone else is beneath you. This is a lesson I had hoped I taught to Hinata and Kageyama, (the lesson that I am better than them) but it seems they really are like concrete-they refuse to listen, or it might just be that they're so dumb they can't hear others. The Shiratorizawa volleyball team is made up of some of the most judgmental of people at Shiratorizawa, the saltiest being Shirabu. Shirabu is saltier than the Dead Sea and Don Juan Pond combined, then that saltiness multiplied by the number of times he'll tell someone he gives no fucks. Shirabu is also the influence of everyone else's saltiness. Since Shirabu replaced Semi Eita as the starting setter of Shiratorizawa, Semi also became very salty, although most of that salt is directed at Shirabu himself. I can continue if you would like to hear the salt levels of everyone else.

Team Dad™: what the fuck dude

Ushiwaka: It is now my turn, Oikawa, truth, or dare?

Trash™: I choose Trutgh jalraklyjdityckhv

Trash™: I CHOOSE DARE

Ushiwaka: Good. I dare you to come to Shiratorizawa. Forever. 

Trash™: WHAT THE FUCK NO FUCK YOU

Trash™: MY NEPHEW TOOK MY PHONE I'M WATCHING HIM I CHOSE TRUTH HINATA LET ME CHANGE MY ANSWER

Tiny Giant 2.0: I mean, you never actually said truth so I can't let you do that. ¯\\(o_o)/¯

Trash™: WHAT THE FUCK NO

Tiny Giant 2.0: Rules are rules!!!

Trash™: I hate this fucking chat

Saltyshima: Same

Pudding Head: Same

Bakageyama: Same

AKAAASHIII: Same

Muscle Man: Same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My school had no classes today because of "virtual field day" which was just the gym teacher talking about actual field day and how "we need 60 minnutes of exercise a day" for like 20 minutes straight.
> 
> I then proceeded to write this because I've stopped caring.
> 
> Also I'm getting a Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun art book for my birthday (April 26) but that's irrelevant


	5. H Y P O T H E T I C A L L Y

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NEKOMA BONDING
> 
> LEVYAKU
> 
> THAT'S IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah, the only characters in this chapter are Lev, Yaku, Kenma, and Kuroo.
> 
> Idk why but I figured, why not have everyone else mysteriously disappear?
> 
> I joined a discord server for the first time and the amount of yelling about anime characters is honestly not surprising.
> 
> NaNoWriMo deleted the whole last half of this fucking chapter so thanks to that I had to re-write it

RA RA RASPUTIN: what would happen if I was hypothetically on the roof of my house in the rain?

Demon Senpai: I would kick you for GOING ON THE ROOF IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM

Demon Senpai: that's how people die

RA RA RASPUTIN: It's fine, I'm tall so if I need to, I can jump off the roof and escape with minor injuries

Demon Senpai: "mInOr InJuRieS"

Demon Senpai: I would like to announce that you will all probably never see Lev again, due to that fact that 

Demon Senpai: 1): If he jumps off that roof chances of him dying are high and

Demon Senpai: 2): If he survives I will kill him myself for being REALLY FUCKING DUMB

Demon Senpai: WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN DOING THAT INVOLVES GOING ON THE ROOF OF A BUILDING IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM

RA RA RASPUTIN: A cat

RA RA RASPUTIN: also I said this was hypothetical!!!

Demon Senpai: yeah but you're dumb enough to actually get stuck on the roof while chasing a cat

RA RA RASPUTIN:

┏┓  
┃┃╱╲ In this  
┃╱╱╲╲ house  
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love  
▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate  
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲  
our friends  
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲  
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

Demon Senpai: No

RA RA RASPUTIN: ಥ_ಥ

Demon Senpai:

┃┃╱╲ In this  
┃╱╱╲╲ house  
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we tell people when they're being dumb.  
▔▏┗┛▕▔ Especially   
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲  
Lev Haiba  
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲  
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

RA RA RASPUTIN: oh no

Demon Senpai: what did you do

RA RA RASPUTIN: the hypothetical cat hypothetically isn't there

RA RA RASPUTIN: it was a bird

RA RA RASPUTIN: the bird flew away

RA RA RASPUTIN: I'm still stuck on the roof

RA RA RASPUTIN: take you with me bird boy!!!!

RA RA RASPUTIN: *le gasp*

RA RA RASPUTIN: it was a sign

Demon Senpai: A sign that you're goiNG INSANE

RA RA RASPUTIN: A SIGN FROM...

RA RA RASPUTIN: m o t h m a n

Demon Senpai: tf is a mothman

RA RA RASPUTIN: I'll explain if you rescue me???

Demon Senpai: I don't know where you live??? How would I get on the roof???

RA RA RASPUTIN: the doors unlocked

Demon Senpai: why the fuck would you leave the door to your house unlocked???

RA RA RASPUTIN: I mean my sister left it open when she left to go to the store so...

Demon Senpai: where the fuck is everyone else

Demon Senpai: usually they're using the chat to be really loud and obnoxious

Bedhead: I'm pretty sure only Nekoma members are online

Pudding Head: Oh joy, more time to spend with the teammates who I don't spend nearly enough time with.

RA RA RASPUTIN: oh no that's not good

Demon Senpai: w h a t 

RA RA RASPUTIN: The neighbor saw me

RA RA RASPUTIN: I think that she thinks I'm going to jump

RA RA RASPUTIN: I did the cutting throat gesture at her and shook my head

RA RA RASPUTIN: oh no 

RA RA RASPUTIN: she got more worried

RA RA RASPUTIN: she says she's calling the police

Pudding Head: oh my god Lev

Bedhead: I don't even know what to say to that 

Demon Senpai: ughhhh

Demon Senpai: where do you live

RA RA RASPUTIN: ✪ ω ✪ 

RA RA RASPUTIN: *(uhhh idk some random ass address)*

Demon Senpai: where did I go wrong where now I'm driving to go rescue Lev from his own roof while also trying to out-drive the police so I can explain he's not trying to die.

Pudding Head: The moment you joined the volleyball club

Demon Senpai: I think it was before that, maybe that day in elementary school where we first started playing volleyball...

Bedhead: Are you texting and driving Yaku??? That's not very uh... LEGAL???

Demon Senpai: I'm driving to rescue Lev from his own roof I can do what I want Kuroo

Pudding Head: I L L E G AL

Bedhead: C R I M I N A L 

Demon Senpai: Yes, that's me. Yaku the criminal. I text while driving which is a very irresponsible thing of me to do. I should aspire to be more like my awesome classmate Kuroo, who I watched make out with his boyfriend during volleyball practice. I should also be like Lev, who I am currently driving to sAVE FROM HIS OWN ROOF, IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM, BECAUSE HE MISTOOK A FUCKING BIRD FOR A CAT.

Demon Senpai: HOW THE FUCK WOULD A CAT GET ON THE ROOF ANYWAY

RA RA RASPUTIN: ¯\\(°_o)/¯

Demon Senpai: I literally give the fuck up

Demon Senpai: I'm in ur driveway

Pudding Head: c r e e p y

Demon Senpai: wow you really are on the fucking roof

Demon Senpai: Let's hope Lev doesn't somehow push me off

Demon Senpai: I'm in the house, surprised you haven't been robbed yet

Bedhead: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Demon Senpai: Shut the fuck up Kuroo

Bedhead: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bedhead: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bedhead: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bedhead: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Bedhead: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Demon Senpai: Kenma say goodbye to your boyfriend

Pudding Head: lol bye

Bedhead: I-

Bedhead: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Demon Senpai: erkjsgvnsakerj,rkjgvnkgn

Demon Senpai: alkhrgnaaaaahdbaadnbgaaahankhfhhhh

RA RA RASPUTIN: wow

RA RA RASPUTIN: I didn't think that would happen 

Demon Senpai: akrjgma,rgrga

Pudding Head: Lev 

Pudding Head: what did you do to Yaku

RA RA RASPUTIN: I didn't do anything :(

Demon Senpai: f a l s e

RA RA RASPUTIN: ;)

Demon Senpai: I don't like this

Pudding Head: what'd you do to Yaku

RA RA RASPUTIN: I kissed him :)

Bedhead: you w h a t

RA RA RASPUTIN: I thought you were dead

Bedhead: Kenma stomped on me for some reason

RA RA RASPUTIN: Maybe because you're annoying?

Bedhead: STFU Lev you killed Yaku just by kissing him

RA RA RASPUTIN: :((

Demon Senapi: Lev you literal child I am going to k i l l y o u

RA RA RASPUTIN: I thought you wanted me to kiss you though

Demon Senpai: I have no memory of ever saying that

Bedhead: I mean...

Demon Senpai: STFU that never happened

Pudding Head: I'm pretty sure it did happen

Demon Senpai: Is there no one I can trust anymore???

RA RA RASPUTIN: what about me :(

Demon Senpai: STFU you fucking tree ass bitch

RA RA RASPUTIN: did you liek the kiss or???

Demon Senpai: alkrngar,kgna

Pudding Head: he says that he did

RA RA RASPUTIN: o(^▽^)o

Demon Senpai: I didn't say that

RA RA RASPUTIN: ( 。＿。)

Pudding Head: that is f a l s e

Demon Senpai: shut ur fuckin mouth u hoe

Pudding Head: See here Lev, Yaku tends to get aggressive when embarrassed

RA RA RASPUTIN: mhm

Pudding Head: take ur fuckin notes kid

RA RA RASPUTIN: how am I a kid??? I'm taller than you???

Pudding Head: do you want my help or not

Demon Senpai: you do realize that I'm literally right here right

Pudding Head: Yaku, no one wants the job of taking care of Lev, a literal child, but I think you'll be able to make it work somehow

Demon Senpai: what are you talking about

Pudding Head:: you guys are dating now, sorry I don't make the rules

Demon Senpai: that's not how it works

Pudding Head: I know, I don't like it either

Demon Senpai: are you even listening to me

Pudding Head: of course, you could have thought of better ways to convince Yaku to come to your house

RA RA RASPUTIN: what are you talking about??? I was actually stuck on the roof???

Pudding Head: oh

Pudding Head: you're dumber than I thought, ya know that Lev?

RA RA RASPUTIN: ￣へ￣

RA RA RASPUTIN: oh shit

RA RA RASPUTIN: Ahah 

RA RA RASPUTIN: the police are here

Demon Senpai: we can worry about that later

Demon Senpai: I need to delete these messages rn before anyone else sees

Pudding Head: I'm pretty sure they already saw

Pudding Head: and took screenshots

Demon Senpai: I'll just threaten them later

Bedhead: wh a t

Demon Senpai: you heard me

Bedhead: this is a group chat you didn't say anything

Bedhead: so really no, I didn't hear you

Demon Senpai: Hey Kenma can you stomp on Kuroo some more

Pudding Head: lol suree

Bedhead: curse you Yaku owwww

Bedhead: ow ow OW THA HURTARLK A L TO

Demon Senpai: anyway...

Demon Senpai has deleted 143 messages

Demon Senpai: oh jeez that's a lot

Tiny Giant 2.0: uh

Tiny Giant 2.0: what just happened

Demon Senpai: nothing... nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I updated this late but there isn't an actual schedule for me to try and follow so I guess I didn't 
> 
> I should make one of those soon.
> 
> I GOT MY ART SUPPLIES
> 
> I wrote this instead of doing my Science and English projects and oh yeah my Social Studies project too.
> 
> Imagine assigning a project as a "fun" and "non-stressful" end of the year project.
> 
> The stress is real


	6. 𝔁𝓾𝓮🥶𝓱𝓾𝓪🧚♀️𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸😻𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸🗿𝓫𝓮𝓲👺𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓰🤩𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸😼𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸👣

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 100 kudos!!!  
> And 1000 hits!!!
> 
> Horned Owl Bastard: Anyway...
> 
> Horned Owl Bastard: Where's Kuroo???
> 
> Pudding Head: He's crying.
> 
> AKAAASHIII: I wish I could cry right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm they talk about a bunch of random shit
> 
> Uhh they talk about Voltron season eight but there shouldn't be any spoilers since I never watched season eight other than the first episode
> 
> wait...
> 
> SPOILERS FOR VOLTRON SEASON EIGHT EPISODE ONE SO YEAH ALSO SPOILERS FOR THAT ONE EPISODE WHERE KEITH AND LANCE ARE STUCK IN THE ELEVATOR
> 
> I mean not really spoilers for that second one but you get my point.
> 
> Some of the stuff about Voltron might be wrong since I watched it in like September so...

AKAAASHIII: I've decided that due to personal reasons I will now be passing away.

Mr. Refreshing: w h a t

AKAAASHIII: Yes.

AKAAASHIII: I wish I could go back a week and un-watch everything I just saw.

Mr. Refreshing: What??? were you watching???

AKAAASHIII: I was watching Voltron: Legendary Defenders.

AKAAASHIII: I have decided that I no longer trust anything Netflix tells me I should watch.

Horned Owl Bastard: I mean it wasn't that bad

Pudding Head: Allura and Lance started dating

Horned Owl Bastard: Well yes but

Pudding Head: They were meant to sTAY FRIENDS

Horned Owl Bastard: Well yes but

Pudding Head: THEY BETRAYED ME

Horned Owl Bastard: Anyway...

Horned Owl Bastard: Where's Kuroo???

Pudding Head: He's crying.

AKAAASHIII: I wish I could cry right now.

Pudding Head: You stopped watching the moment episode one of season eight was over and refused to watch the rest of the season. You're not allowed to complain about it.

AKAAASHIII: I refuse to watch a show where two characters are dating when they were SUPPOSED to STAY FRIENDS

Tiny Giant 2.0: huh???

Tiny Giant 2.0: What's Voltron????

Saltyshima: Uncultured swine

Tiny Giant 2.0: wh-

G u c c i™: Once I forced Tsukki to watch all of Voltron with me at a sleepover!!!

G u c c i™: He said that his favorite was Keith!

Saltyshima: Shut up Yamaguchi

G u c c i™: Gomen Tsukki!!!

Saltyshima: Also, Keith was everyone's favorite

Pudding Head: Probably because he was the most sane out of everyone else

Pudding Head: Actually never mind none of them were mentally stable

Pudding Head: My favorite was Pidge though

Bedhead: Not surprising

Bedhead: I'm suing whoever made Voltron for convincing me it was gonna be good

Bedhead: Well... it was good but then it uh

Saltyshima: Completely ruined all the characters and never gave Lance any real character development, making him the butt of every joke and never showing what he was actually capable of?

Bedhead: yeah that

Bedhead: I'm never watching TV ever again.

Horned Owl Bastard: We could play volleyball!!!

Bedhead: Actually ya know what I'm too tired to spend the rest of the day trying to block Bokutos spikes sooo

Bedhead: I'm going to sleep for the next few years

Bedhead: Wake me up when they change the ending of Voltron to something better than that

Mr. Refreshing: Klance definitely should have been canon

G u c c i™: Exactly!

G u c c i™: They were literally stuck in an elevator wITHOUT ACTUAL CLOTHES ON

G u c c i™: and yet nOTHING HAPPENED

G u c c i™: Voltron was a whole ass disappointment

AKAAASHIII: Nothing could make me watch the rest of season eight

Bakageyama: It's honestly not worth it 

G u c c i™: Life isn't worth it either and yet I'm still alive huh

Mr. Refreshing: what

G u c c i™: what

Mr. Refreshing: what

G u c c i™: oh whoops

Mr. Refreshing: Yamaguchi I thought you were supposed to be the mentally stable one

Saltyshima: Yamaguchi is the opposite of mentally stable

G u c c i™: (✿◠‿◠) 

G u c c i™: (✿◕‿◕)

Saltyshima: Yamaguchi is a lying ass bitch who is in no way mentally stable and I live by that statement

G u c c i™: (⌐■_■)

G u c c i™: ( •_•)>⌐■-■

G u c c i™: (•_•)

G u c c i™: Now...

G u c c i™: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Japan and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Bedhead: First of all: Why would Yamaguchi be trained in the US Marine Corps??? We live in Japan???

Bedhead: Second of all: 

Bedhead: I'm trying... TO S L E E P 

G u c c i™: š̵̙̙̯̲̒̔̈͑̈́͐̎̒̕ͅḥ̸̮͎̫͇̙̼̋̎u̷̢̗͉̜̟͂̏̉͌̆̓͂ţ̷̘̜͔͖̗̹̠̞̄͗͊̇͐͒͜͝͝ ̵̢̡̯̻͚̘̒̊̓͐̓̌̚͝͠͝t̵̮̞̑͜h̷̢̝̙̳̝͗͜e̵̥͖̠̥͚͓̠̯̯̿͌͝ ̵̨͕͎̣̬̬̞̊ͅf̶̯̤̪͎͇̿͂u̷̢̬̯̼̘͇̞̺̱̠͛̽̇͊͗͠ċ̶͖̯͙̟̠̩̠̼̀̅̄k̴̳̠͈̈́͐̿̃̚ ̶͈̼̅u̷̺͝͝p̸̛̙̻̱̰̆͗̇ ̵̛̮̗̃͒̀̅̃̿́̈́̕ỹ̶̨̨̡̙̜͓̟̎̽͛̎͂͋̈́̚͝ō̵̥̮̯̱̠̰̽͐̈́̿̽̏̍͠ū̵͙̝͈̮̊̚ͅ ̵̨̧͉̥̤͉̲͈̭̩̒̀̑̋̍͌̂̅́̈f̵̡̔ų̵͔̉c̸͕̮͊͐̏̎̒̈͂̕ͅk̵̮̖͑͆̑͐̾̆͐̉͝i̴͎̔̂̉̀͒ṇ̵̡̢͉̼̹̤̇ ̶̛͇̹̽̆̂͆͊͠f̵̜̤̼̖̱̩̞͔̜͋͊́̿̏́͒u̸̡͓͍̩͎͔̩͇̤̩̓̆͑̒͠c̴͈̎̂̈́k̶̨̢̛̼̺̞̭̠͉̳̰̈́̔̽̏́̎̃ ̵̨̈́̍͒̏͠b̶̡̈́̿͐̊͆̅o̶̳͚̲͉͇͒̍̀̃͋͛̍̚͠ͅͅį̷̲̝̘́̍́͋̎̀̓ ̷̜̻̳̯̜̀̓ą̸̰̲̬̺͈̓͆̓s̴͙͚̜̓͑͋͒͌̓̇͒s̵̡̧̨̨̰͍̱̜̫̉̋͒̍̋͝ ̶̹̤̰͔͕̹̬̓̌̽͑͐̃͝ͅb̷̰͙̦̟̘̦̬̬̥͉̑̽̈̆̌̂̓i̶̱̤͚͂̈̔̑t̵̡̝̘͂̀̒͗͜͠͝č̷̨̰͉̮̔͆͐͆͗̓̈́͠ͅh̷̩̗͙̘̩̍̇̒̿̀͑

Bedhead: I-

Bedhead: Ya know what? I am gonna leave

Saltyshima: Oh my god,

Saltyshima: It's starting

Saltyshima: Look what you did, do you see the monster you've created? I tried to save you, but now it's much too late. Yamaguchi is coming for you, you think that you're safe, but really 

Saltyshima: y̷̛̲̦̫̮̔̑͐̓̕͜͝ ̶̰̅̊͒̈͜o̴̢̦͓̩̲̖͕̖͉͔̦͊͗̊̚ ̸̛̤̂̑̔ư̸̡̟̰͎̫̓̊̀̓̂̆̕̕'̵̲̠̈̅̈́̈̄́͊̚͘ ̸̨̞̟̦̝̖̳̄́̏̓̂͜͠͝͠͝ȓ̶̡͖̲̠͇͚̝͚̻̫͓͌̓͐̏́̓͂͐͘ͅͅ ̶̧̠͈̿͛̈̈́̔̊͑̿̈͐͝͝ë̵̯̩̲̺̤͖́̔̅͑ͅ ̸̮͚͍̦͇̙͐̈́̾̽̃̔͐͠͝ ̴̂̓̿͘ͅ ̴̡͙͕̭͙͍̦͇̟̙͎̲̾̎̀̃́̂͒̓̔̏ ̷̨̫̱͙̯̳̣̱̦̟̓͛̽͂̃͌̌̈̃̐͘͠͝ ̵̧̟̰͖̯͔̝͉̘̩̓̎̾ ̵̨̰̺̺̩͚̺̝͓̜̙̫͈̿́̽̇ ̷̡̩̫̞͎̠̲̀̈́̏̔͐̄͊̚ ̴̮̗͉͔̰̥̐͒̑͌ͅͅ ̴̞̝̞͍͖̼̟̙̠͕̗̦̤̔͋̈́̐̕ ̶̡̺͂͜ ̶̰̻̣̜̝̻͇̱̲̎̄̐̏͛͐̍̎̍̚͠͠ṋ̵̘̟̫̞̘̱̌̒̑͋̌̂̽̽̒̓͂͝ ̶̼̰͖̰͍̼͇̂̾̋͐͒̿͝ḙ̸̢̤͎̲̰̬̔̒͐̿͋̚ ̶̗̱̇̉̿͌͛̚x̸̨̞̹̫̓̿͂̋̓̉̉̈̕ ̷̧̛̞͓̩͈͚̘̱̂̇̔̈̒̿̑̔́͝͝t̶͕̓̈́̿̏͋̃͒̅̽̈̂̕͝

Saltyshima: ̷̬͓̹̄̋̃͌ͅH̴̢͖̱̜̜̟̗̦̤̓͐͐͜Ë̶̼̙̙̯̗̳͈͕̦́̽̾̌̋̐̾ ̶̧̢̧̘͚͙͖͚̱͓̹̞̰̇̌̂̉́̕ͅI̵̺̝̬̜̫̪̯͇̱̦̬͔͍̖͔̐̑̓̍͑͜͠ͅS̷̨̡̫͓͉̹̮͙̭͉̙̲̮̰͖̓͑͗̒̕͝͝ ̵̜̞́̽̍̀̌͛̍̉͋̽͘͠C̵̡̢̫͕͈̩̙͙̩͉̙̰͈͖̖͚̳̏̔̿̾̏̎̒O̷̧̨̡̥̖͍̥̣͍̙̬̼̱̲̦̾͂̂͆͑̅̂͛̇̎̾̽̄͑M̸̪͚̯͔̠̜̥̞͗̀͗͛̆̃̓̂̏̈́̒͋̕̕Į̴̲̤̼̟̘͓̙̪̣́̽̍̆͛̂N̸̳̜̲̫̲̯̘͎͓̯̥̂̈́̋̌̈́̎̈̉̉̓̊̾͐͘̕G̷̨͉̬͖͇̑̎͆̚̚͘͜

Mr. Refreshing: Wow

Mr. Refreshing: that's what a power couple really is folks

Tiny Giant 2.0: power couple????

Mr. Refreshing: oop

Mr. Refreshing: lol yes

Saltyshima: Are you actually dumb? How did you not realize?

Tiny Giant 2.0: I want looking for any signs, therefore, I didn't see any

Saltyshima: So you're saying you only see the things you look for

Tiny Giant 2.0: Well yes but also no

Saltyshima: Is that why everyone you know is so much taller than you? You're looking for height since you don't have any so the only thing you see is people with the height you'll never have? 

Tiny Giant 2.0: Well yes but also no

Tiny Giant 2.0: Actually just no nevermind

Bakageyama: I need help

Mr. Refreshing: Kageyama what did you do???

Bakageyama: I just bumped into my cousin

Mr. Refreshing: And the problem is????

Bakageyama: My cousin is really uh

Bakageyama: Idk he's really weird

Bakageyama: Like weirder than the thought of Hinata being taller than me

Saltyshima: Oh wow that is weird

Saltyshima: lafkljhvjchga

Saltyshima: LMAO suffer bitch

Saltyshima: That was Yamagjvhucnhjhiakjfad

Saltyshima: I'M STEALING MY PHONE BACK BITCHES

G u c c i™: What's up sluts guess who just got out of prison? 

Bakageyama: Please don't say that I'm getting flashbacks

Saltyshima: Definitely not you

Saltyshima: Relationship ended with Yamaguchi, I only have- actually nothing, I have nothing.

G u c c i™: That's what I thought BITCH

G u c c i™: ANYWAY 

G u c c i™: Are we gonna talk about last weeks chapter or???

Tiny Giant 2.0: Chapter????

G u c c i™: Oh shit 

G u c c i™: @En-NO-shita they're onto us

Demon Senpai: NO WE ARE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT ANY CERTAIN THING THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE HAPPENED

RA RA RASPUTIN: We aren't?

Demon Senpai: No, we're not

RA RA RASPUTIN: What about Kageyamas cousin he was complaining about then

Bakageyama: None of you helped me and now I am dead

Bakageyama: UGH

Bakageyama: Someone literally kill me right now if I hear ONE MORE WORD ABOUT FUCKING MACKEREL

Demon Senpai: Mackerel???

Bakageyama: Yes. Mackerel, that's the only thing he talks about, and other than that he doesn't talk at all, so it'S JUST HIM TALKING ABOUT MACKEREL 

Bakageyama: I'm quitting life and jumping of the nearest bridge

Tiny Giant 2.0: Add him to the chat!!!

Bakageyama: Never in my life bitch

Bakageyama: Oh jeez there are people waving and yelling at him now

Bakageyama: Uh there's a short blonde, and a taller one with dark blue hair and red glasses, and another one with brown hair, and a n o t h er one with fucking shark teeth and then there's a bunch of others like a dude with pink hair, and one with red hair, and there's probably more but I didn't wanna keep looking at them

Mr. Refreshing: Kageyama why are you telling us what they look like as if you're about to be kidnapped?

Bakageyama: Because I met the yellow one once and he tried to become friends with me

Bakageyama: I don't trust him

Bakageyama: Also he said the "what's up sluts" thing once and no ones voice should be able to change so quickly I felt 

Bakageyama: I felt fear for the first time that day...

G u c c i™: Kageyama ur screen time is up it's someone else's turn now

Trash™: You mean me!!! (*￣3￣)╭

G u c c i™: Lol no I meant literally anyone other than you

G u c c i™: Sorry lemme see who hasn't talked in the fic yet

Trash™: w h a t

G u c c i™: Oh shit you didn't see that 

Trash™: uh anyway

Trash™: I just got the greatest idea

Trash™ changed the chat name to What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. Do you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Japan and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

G u c c i™: Oh god 

G u c c i™: um anyways 

G u c c i™: THE GIRLS ARE UP NEXT FOR SCREEN TIME FOLKS, GET IN POSITION!

G u c c i™: KIYOKO YOU'RE UP FIRST

Goddess™: I forgot this chat existed, to be honest

Michigan: Oh god I didn't know that there was another girl in this chat thank god

Scared: I'm also here but we can go back to me not being here if you want I won't mind!!!!

Michigan: Really living up to your username huh

Michigan: I don't really have anything to go by so I guess this'll have to do

En-NO-shita: this is boring we need something interesting here

Michigan: ugh fine uh

Michigan: OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK

Michigan: HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THERE A ROCK IN MY FUCKING KITCHEN

Michigan: As Akaashi said, due to personal reasons, I will now be passing away.

Scared: I thought being scared was my job???

Michigan: Uh, the rock came with a letter 

Goddess™: Don't open it.

Michigan: I'm opening the letter!!!

Michigan: It says: "Add us to the group chat or I'll reveal your crush then steal your kneecaps bitch"

Goddess™: Definitely don't do that

Michigan has added Sangwoo and The Normal One to What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. Do you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across Japan and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Goddess™: I told you not to do it but did you listen? No.

Michigan: whoops

Michigan: Someone change that please

G u c c i™: But the author is using it to trick NaNoWriMo into thinking shes writing shit when she isn't

Michigan: WELL THE AUTHOR NEEDS TO LEARN TO DO IT HERSELF

Sangwoo: I'm pretty sure I didn't choose this username

The Normal One: You do look like Sangwoo though

Sangwoo: THAT MEANS YOU LOOK LIKE SANGWOO TOO BITCH

The Normal One: Nah, it's the hair that makes you Sangwoo

Sangwoo: I'm off to murder a certain brother of mine~

The Normal One: lmao kill me, bitch, I've been waiting for this

Horned Owl Bastard: Mood

AKAAASHIII: Mood

Pudding Head: Mood

RA RA RASPUTIN: Mood

Goddess™: Mood

Scared: Mood

Michigan: Mood

Bedhead: Mood

Demon Senpai: Mood

Mr. Refreshing: Mood

En-NO-shita: Mood

Trash™: Mood

Tiny Giant 2.0: thats!!! not good!!!

Bakageyama: Mood

Saltyshima: Mood

G u c c i™: Mood

Saltyshima: *that's

Tiny Giant 2.0: IS GOING TO TELL YAMAGUCHI TO MURDER HIS BOYFRIEND NOW~

G u c c i™: lmao s̵̨̼͍̹̄̐̀a̷̖̺̖̱͍̼͔̝͊̌̄͗͋̒y̷̡̧̛̩̻̏̓̎͂̈ ̷͓̝̰̭̹̟̮͈̰̑͊̐͋̕g̷̛̦̗̤̟̭͑̾̂͜o̶̢͖͍̾ͅỏ̸̝̪͓̘͙͎̌̋͠d̸͉̼͔͛̌̽͌̾̓̚͜b̵̧͕͛͆̚y̸̻̰̫̑̓̕e̸̡̬͕̯̞̟̞̭̣͒̅̑ ̵͎͚̹̼̱̩͇͂̃̐T̴̨̛̃̉̅̊̈̏ś̷̱̬̻̲̗͖͘u̶̞̰̻̣͐̀̑͒̚͝k̷̦͗k̵̡̟͈͈̪̘̜̫͖͛͂͛͂̽̍̋i̵̥̦͉̍̓́̒̽͠

G u c c i™ changed the chat name to 𝔁𝓾𝓮🥶𝓱𝓾𝓪🧚♀️𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸😻𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸🗿𝓫𝓮𝓲👺𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓰🤩𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸😼𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸👣

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday I had a whole ass crisis because I'm like legit in love with Kenma and he's not even real smh.


	7. Atsumu = Sangwoo???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atsumu and Sangwoo are the same people
> 
> Or maybe Sangwoo is the forgotten triplet of the family???
> 
> Hmmm...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no scheduale, only darkness  
> Luckily I'm almost done the next chapter so procrastination is not an option
> 
> Also this chapter is basically just about Killing Stalking, it has hints of spoilers and ACTUAL SPOILERS, and I probably got something wrong at some point since im only like halfway through it but whatever
> 
> If the mentions of the things Sangwoo has done, like the thing in his walls, (im trying to avoid outright just saying it but I'm clearly failing) makes you uncomfortable in any way you probably shouldn't read this
> 
> It's only slightly mentioned not in any detail but yeah major spoilers and all that jazz so uhh enjoy the late chapter I guess

The Normal One: I'm disowning Atsumu on behalf of him being Sangwoo

Sangwoo: No

The Normal One: *disowns*

Sangwoo: That isn't how being disowned works idiot are you dumb

The Normal One: I refuse to be related to Sangwoo

Tiny Giant 2.0: ??? Who's Sangwoo???

Saltyshima ...

Saltyshima: bruh

Sangwoo: who let this literal child learn about Sangwoo

Tiny Giant 2.0: I'M NOT A BABY!!!

Sangwoo: sure...

Saltyshima: Sangwoo is a character from killingskfhgsfkjskjgdkhsk

G u c c i™: Corrupting the children is not allowed

Mr. Refreshing: How does Tsukishima even know about Killing Stalking???

G u c c i™: ...

G u c c i™: No comment. 

Mr. Refreshing: bruh

Saltyshima: Forever scarred 

The Normal One: I can't believe my own twin did all that...

Sangwoo: Shut ur fuckin mouth you hoe

The Normal One: Don't remember him cursing like that either...

The Normal One: You even act like Sangwoo

Sangwoo: This is slander on my good name!!!

The Normal One: Just give Atsumu eye bags and a steel pole that's Sangwoo right there folks

The Normal One: Keep an eye on your ankles at all times and stay away from bathroom stalls when near him

Tiny Giant 2.0: I still don't know who Sangwoo is!!!

Pudding Head: You don't wanna know Shoyo...

Tiny Giant 2.0: I can handle it!!! I'm not a baby!!!

Pudding Head: Then just read Killing Stalking

Mr. Refreshing: THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN KENMA

Mr. Refreshing: THE CHILDREN

Pudding Head: It's too late for the children, for they're already gone

Mr. Refreshing: I'm choosing to ignore that

[11:53 PM]

Tiny Giant 2.0: I finished Killing Stalking

Pudding Head: And???

Tiny Giant 2.0: I wish I hadn't

Saltyshima: Did it really take you so long to read 67 chapters?

Tiny Giant 2.0: I'm illiterate ok I can't read

Saltyshima: Doubt it but whatever

The Normal One: Anyway this isn't about the corruption of innocent children 

The Normal One: This is about how my brother is actually just a gay serial killer

Sangwoo: Sangwoo wasn't gay 

The Normal One: I sincerely doubt he was straight like he said

The Normal One: We both saw Sangwoo... uhhh how do I say this 

The Normal One: Sangwoo was a bad dude who did very adult things with Yoon Bum

Tiny Giant 2.0: no no no on on

Tiny Giant 2.0: He just... and then he... and I...

Tiny Giant 2.0: I'm gonna go uhhh I'm gonna go do literally anything other than thinking about killing talking

Saltyshima: I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t have a problem with Sangwoo

Trash™: But... he was hot...

Sangwoo: ヾ(•ω•`)o

Trash™: 😬🖕🏻

Sangwoo: Wow fuck you

Pink Haired Bitch: Oikawa murderer kink confirmed???

Eyebrows™: Hey Iwa did you hear that

Muscle Man: This is written text

Eyebrows: That's beside the point

Muscle Man: Why would I care that Shittykawa gets a hard-on for killers

Trash™: I!!! Never!!! Said!!! That!!!

Pink Haired Bitch: yeah ya did

Trash™: I sad he was hot, which is totally different

Muscle Man: I don't see your point but this just proves that your personality is trash

Trash™: He was hot and that's the truth ¯\\(o_o)/¯

Muscle Man: *deep sigh*

Eyebrows™: Did you mean: *deep moan*

Muscle Man: Isn't this supposed to be about that Sangwoo guy or whatever

Pink Haired Bitch: *whispers* he didn't deny it

Eyebrows™: *whispers* Do you think he wants to 👉👌 Oikawa

Muscle Man: w h a t

Trash™: Anyone with eyes would want to, right Iwa-chan~

Muscle Man: No.

Pink Haired Bitch: Damn he hit you with the proper punctuation I guess he means it 

Trash™: (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Trash™: Well I for one think that Sangwoo was very funny

Bakageyama: Literally how

Trash™: He was hilarious 

The Normal One: when he wasn't busy being a total psychopath

Saltyshima: Sangwoo was a total psychopath 24/7 what are you talking about

Bakageyama: We're talking about Sangwoo AKA Burnt Ashes™ wdym what are we talking about

The Normal One: bruh

The Normal One changed Sangwoo's name to Burnt Ashes™

Burnt Ashes™: I don't like this one either

Mr. Refreshing: That lady on my strange addiction who at her husbands ashes except the ashes are Sangwoo and the lady is YoonBum

Burnt Ashes™: Due to personal reasons I will now be passing away

Mr. Refreshing: Bitch ur already dead 

Burnt Ashes™: I thought you’re the mom of your team aren’t moms supposed to be nice 

Mr. Refreshing: I put up with too much shit to be nice so STFU

The Normal One: Speaking of Moms...

Burnt Ashes™: n O

The Normal One: You seem to have some... issues with yours 

Burnt Ashes™: Idk what you’re talking about

Saltyshima: you kept her in the walls like a fucking psychopath

Burnt Ashes™: It’s sociopath get it right kid

Saltyshima: I regret ever being here

RA RA RASPUTIN: Didn’t Sangwoo call YoonBum mom once 

Saltyshima: Sangwoo almost drowned YoonBum several times I think his mom kink is the least of his underlying problems.

Burnt Ashes™: Ya know what? I am gonna leave

Burnt Ashes™: ...

Burnt Ashes™: why won’t it let me leave this hell hole

Tiny Giant 2.0: Because it’s bonding time!!!

Burnt Ashes™: is bonding time required tho

Mr. Refreshing: You have to make sure they can’t escape somehow

The Normal One: Just break their ankles if ur not a coward

Burnt Ashes™: 🖕🏻

Mr. Refreshing: 

The Normal One:

Bakageyama: you should add the rest of your team

Saltyshima: Definitely don’t do that

Burnt Ashes™: No no, he's right about this one

The Normal One: Lmao too late bitch

The Normal One has added Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke, Suna, and Ritz Crackers to 𝔁𝓾𝓮🥶𝓱𝓾𝓪🧚♀️𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸😻𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸🗿𝓫𝓮𝓲👺𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓰🤩𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸😼𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸👣

Burnt Ashes™: 🦵🦵🦵🦵👁👄👁🦵🦵🦵🦵 I hope my pet spider Legg kills you in your sleep

The Normal One: I welcome death

Suna: Anyways...

Suna: I'm afraid of fucking spiders you bitch

Burnt Ashes™: 🦵🦵🦵🦵👁👄👁🦵🦵🦵🦵

Suna: You deserved to be turned into ashes 

Burnt Ashes™: Damn okay then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn this one is shorter than I thought
> 
> Did I go through all the chapters and change Michimiyas name to Michigan in each one?
> 
> Yuh♥


	8. Imma be honest I’m too lazy to remember what the plot of this chapter is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiny Giant 2.0: He bit off my fingers???
> 
> Bedhead: Yeah lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been a while oops
> 
> I’ve been typing everything on my iPad which is why it takes so long and now I have to FORMAT so it takes even longer but whatever
> 
> Imma go back and re-read this tomorrow cuz im in a rush to post today
> 
> Edit 9/17/2020: I didn't go back to edit it 😔 I'll do that now ig

**Suna:** I don't like this

 **Burnt Ashes™:** good

 **Burnt Ashes™:** I hope you suffer just like I am right now smh

 **Suna:** 🔪 🙇🤸💆♂️

 **Burnt Ashes™:** Wtf is that

 **Suna:** It's me stabbing you, you bowing down to me forever, me doing cartwheels of joy, then getting a massage evacuee just looking at you gives me a headache 

**Burnt Ashes™:** Why am I bowing down to _you_

 **Suna:** Why the fuck not

 **Burnt Ashes™:** Fair enough I guess ¯\\(o_o)/¯

 **Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke:** Why is my username so long

 **Burnt Ashes™:** Damn no one cares about me I see how it is

 **The Normal One:** Finally you realize this

 **Burnt Ashes™:** I'm gonna live forever just to spite you

 **The Normal One:** Idk your username says otherwise

 **Burnt Ashes™:** Ur an annoying asshole

 **An Annoying Asshole:** Did someone mention me

 **Burnt Ashes™:** n o

 **An Annoying Asshole:** That was a lie

 **Burnt Ashes™:** Yeah no shit Sherlock

 **Burnt Ashes™:** Kids these days, no respect for their elders...

 **The Normal One:** I get the feeling that Sangwoo is contemplating his next victim

 **The Normal One:** Sangwoo would probably kill a kid if it annoyed him enough

 **An Annoying Asshole:** It?

 **The Normal One:** Yeah♥

 **An Annoying Asshole:** OK good kids don't deserve rights anyway

 **Saltyshima:** Yeah♥

 **Pudding Head:** Yeah

 **Bleh:** Yuh♥

 **AKAAASHIII:** Well maybe...

 **Pudding Head:** wdym maybe kids are monsters

 **Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke:** Once I went to the park and this little boy told me that I was too old to go to the park and that only losers go to parks in their free time

 **Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke:** I also watched that kid get pushed off his swing and bullied 

**Ritz Crackers:** Why must you be so violent

 **Ritz Crackers:** Violence isn’t always the answer

 **Pudding Head:** It would be except I’m way too lazy to assault people who annoy me

 **Pudding Head:** Otherwise I’d have killed Kuro years ago

**Bedhead: 👁👄👁**

**Horned Owl Bastard:** I like playing with kids, they’re always nice to me!

 **AKAAASHIII:** I can’t say I’ve ever actually talked to a child, they seem like too much work to care for

 **Horned Owl Bastard:** You don’t like kids?

 **AKAAASHIII:** I mean last time I talked to a kid they told me I was too boring for them to talk to me

 **Horned Owl Bastard:** Kids are ruthless like that lmao

 **Suna:** Sometimes I want to drop kick kids into the sun

 **An Annoying Asshole:** Understandable 

**An Annoying Asshole:** I too, wish to drop kick Goshiki into the sun

 **Future Ace™:** ...

 **Future Ace™:** I’m literally one year, sixteen weeks, and five days younger than you stfu

 **An Annoying Asshole:** That took you like... a whole ten minutes 

**An Annoying Asshole:** How does it take a high schooler ten whole minutes to do simple math

 **Future Ace™:** Uh idk but math is hard

 **An Annoying Asshole:** Or you’re just stupid

 **Future Ace™:** 😔

 **An Annoying Asshole:** Apparently, children also get their feelings hurt very easily

**[12:03 AM]**

**Bedhead:** jfc 

**Bedhead:** I just had the weirdest dream you guys

 **Demon Senpai:** Gdi 

**Demon Senpai:** Go to fucking sleep 

**Bedhead:** No, I don’t think I will

 **Bedhead:** Ok so the dream takes place in school

 **Bedhead:** I’m in the club room just looking around, and when I look out the window, I see a river 

**Bedhead:** I look next to me and Kenma is standing there, doing nothing

 **Pudding Head:** wtf 

**Pudding Head:** Why am I in this dream

 **Bedhead:** Why are you awake

 **Pudding Head:** Forget I said anything

 **Bedhead:** Thats what I thought

 **Bedhead:** Like I was saying...

 **Bedhead:** And he has glowing red eyes and is ignoring everything i say smh

 **Pudding Head:** Sounds like how I usually act

 **Bedhead:** Stfu

 **Bedhead:** And so I walk into another room, and thers Lev, running around like a weirdo

 **Demon Senpai:** Sounds like how he usually acts

 **Bedhead:** Accurate

 **Bedhead:** And I guess the water was poisonous or something cuz he had an empty water bottle in his hand

 **Bedhead:** So when I walk in, he starts to attack me

 **Bedhead:** And I’m like: “Nah uh” So i fight him back, and then I stick his head in a box

 **Suna:** Did you kill him or something?

 **Bedhead:** No (though I wish I had)

 **RA RA RASPUTIN:** You what

 **Bedhead:** I just grabbed his head and shoved it into a cardboard box, it was like some invisible barrier was keeping his head in

 **Bedhead:** So then I walk out of the room that has Lev kicking his legs around like he’s throwing a temper tantrum 

**Demon Senpai:** Accurate

 **Bedhead:** Into ANOTHER ROOM

 **Team Dad™:** Why so many rooms

 **Bedhead:** Idk I just like rooms i guess

 **Team Dad™:** That makes no sense but whatever

 **Bedhead:** And in this room theres Chibi-chan and Yaku are

 **Bedhead:** Except their fingers were bitten off

 **Bakageyama:** huh

 **Tiny Giant 2.0:** huh

 **Bedhead:** U fucking heard me

 **Pudding Head:** Written text Kuro

 **Bedhead:** Stfu and let me finish telling my story

 **Bedhead:** And behind them was this giant ass alligator with the Nohebi VBC uniform kn and with Daishous ugly ass face on it

 **Tiny Giant 2.0:** He bit my fingers off???

 **Bedhead:** Yeah lmao

 **Bakageyama:** I’ll kill him

 **Bedhead:** Pls do he’s ratty ass bitch

 **Bedhead:** “Breaking News: Young Blueberry Murders Nasty Snake on Behalf of Boyfriend”

 **Bakageyama:** Not my boyfriend

 **Bedhead:** Whatever you say, child

 **Bedhead:** Anyway

 **Bedhead:** So then I looked behind the ugly ass alligator and there are like millions of bees flying around

 **Bedhead:** Then the bees stung Yaku and Chibi-chan until they looked like balloons

 **Bedhead:** And I guess they were balloons cause instead of dying or something the both floated to the ceiling and popped when they hit the fan

 **Bedhead:** In better terms, “Shit hit the fan” lmao

 **Bedhead:** I amuse myself

 **Pudding Head:** Too bad no one else is laughing

 **Bedhead:** Rude

 **Muscle Man:** You sound like Oikawa

 **Burnt Ashes™:** Oikawa like...that one setter girls are constantly screaming about

 **Trash™:** Did someone say something about me???

 **Trash™:** Ohhhh

 **Trash™:** Yeah that’s me~

 **Muscle Man:** Shhhhh

 **Muscle Man:** You’ll inflate his ego even more

 **Trash™:** Rude!!!

 **Muscle Man:** Now look what you’ve done

 **Trash™:** My ego is the perfect size thank you very much

**Muscle Man: Go to fucking sleep**

**Trash™:** You’re not my mom

 **Bedhead:** No,

 **Bedhead:** But he can be your Daddy

 **Trash™:** Bruh

 **Muscle Man:** Go to fucking sleep before I make you

 **Trash™:** Oop

 **Trash™:** Going to sleep now~

 **Pudding Head:** It’s not even late though 

**Bedhead:** I-

 **Bedhead:** It’s like 12:30

 **Pudding Head:** And???

 **Bedhead:** In the morning

 **Pudding Head:** And??????

 **Team Dad™:** The next person to spam the chat is gonna be brutally murdered istg

 **RA RA RASPUTIN:** How would you even get here

 **Team Dad™:** I gave spies on the inside

 **RA RA RASPUTIN:** Lmao I’m going to sleep now

 **Team Dad™:** That’s what I thought 

**Suna:** Ok but what if I crave death

 **Team Dad™:** :/

 **Suna:** Wow I can feel the disappointment from here 

**Suna:** Time to take my first nap in five days!

 **Team Dad™:** I-

 **Team Dad™:** 👁👄👁

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate formatting and i hope it crawls in a hole and dies
> 
> Still gonna do it tho
> 
> Smh


	9. N O o O o O

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bald: URGENT QUESTION!!!
> 
> Bleh: what
> 
> Bald: was the fox and the hound gay
> 
> Bleh: what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if Semi was in other chapters before this one so I’ll just check later but for now just pretend he wasn’t

**Semi Semi:** What is this

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** It's a group chat!!!

**Semi Semi:** I would appreciate it if you could take me out of it

**Semi Semi:** I'm already in enough group chats full of annoying people 

**Mr. Refreshing:** r u d e

**Semi Semi:** I tell nothing but the truth

**Pudding Head:** Speaking of the truth...

**Pudding Head:** The person who told me that volleyball was gonna be fun was a l i a r

**Bedhead:** ...

**Pudding Head:** I stand by what I said Kuro

**Bedhead:** I refuse to apologize I have done no wrong

**Pudding Head:** You stole my fucking PSP

**Bedhead:** Because you haven't sleep in like 3 days

**Bedhe** **ad:** That's not healthy

**Pudding Head:** Being healthy is for people who have a reason to care about their well being

**Pudding Head:** I am not one of those people

**AKAAASHIII:** Wow, relationship goals.

**Bedhead:** I can’t tell if that’s sarcasm or not so I’m just going to assume that you’re serious 

**AKAAASHIII:** Kenma,

**AKAAASHIII:** Your boyfriend is an idiot.

**Onion Head:** Oikawa always flirts with girls in his fanclub before a match which proves he wants to die since Iwaizumi-san is always sent after him which also proves he has no concern for the fact that one day he will inevitably be murdered by him

**Bleh:** Oikawa is probably a masochist or something

**Trash™:** I-

**Trash™:** I was gonna put you two on my will for when the aliens kidnap me (which they will because who wouldn’t want this face?) but you've been demoted to Kageyama status for that o(TヘTo)

**Bakageyama:** ?

**Bleh:** Aliens aren't real and Oikawa is a toddler

**Pink Haired Bitch:** You have a point

**Eyebrows™:** Once I saw Oikawa try to steal a shirt from a literal child at the store because it had aliens on it

**Bleh:** Oikawa is always like that what're you talking about

**Eyebrows™:** Fair enough 

**Bald:** URGENT QUESTION!!!

**Bleh:** what

**Bald:** was the fox and the hound gay

**Bleh:** what

**Eyebrows™:** what

**Pink Haired Bitch:** what

**Bald:** I need an answer was iT GAY OR NOT

**Pink Haired Bitch:** no??? it wasnt???

**Eyebrows™:** Idk Makki im pretty sure it was

**Pink Haired Bitch:** Betrayed

**Pink Haired Bitch:** Guess I didn’t need friends anyway smh

**Pink Haired Bitch:** Betrayed by my own boyfriend 

**Bedhead:** Finally another person who understands my pain

**Pudding Head:** 🔪

**Bedhead:** Whoops never mind 

**Bedhead:** I mean now that I think about it...

**Bedhead:** lol yeah probably

**Bedhead:** They were unusually close...

**AKAAASHIII:** Didn't the dog try to kill the fox?

**Onion Head:** It was a misunderstanding

**AKAAASHIII:** What kind of misunderstandng results in trying to kill your friend

**Pudding Head:** The kind where they ruin your stuff and the law says you have to murder them

**AKAAASHIII:** What kind of law is that?

**Pudding Head:** One that allows me to murder whoever I want

**AKAAASHIII:** Are you condoning murder???

**Pudding Head:** Sometimes murder is nescessary

**AKAAASHIII:** Well yes but why

**Bald:** THIS IS GETTING OFF TOPIC

**Bald:** YES OR NO I NEED AN ANSWERKALKGRAG

**City Boy:** Did my bro just die or

**Pink Haired Bitch:** Ok but now I need the answer to the question now is it gay or not 

**Pudding Head:** I doubt disney would actually make them gay

**Bleh:** It doesn't atter if they're actually gay 

**Bleh:** It’s up to i n t e r p r e t a t i o n

**Onion Head:** I'm surprised you know the word interpretation once I saw you fall asleep in the middle of English 

**Bleh:** The teacher can eat my ass i do what I want BITCH

**Onion Head:** He was standing right in front of your desk

**Bleh:** and?

**Onion Head:** He was giving back an important test

**Bleh:** and???

**Bleh:** I sleep when I want, where I want u hoe

**Trash™:** Pretty sure that's not allowed

**Bleh:** You stole from a child you flat-ass loser

**Trash™:** fuck you

**Bleh:** no thanks I have a boyfriend

**Pink Haired Bitch:** Question: Why are all the Seijoh ships being revealed today 

**Eyebrows™:** the real question is, if they were gay, and, if they were people, who would top?

**Trash™:** ...

**Trash™:** Please do us all a favor and log out right now

**Eyebrows™:** I personally think that it’d be the dog. He just radiates that energy ya know?

**Trash™:** Don’t ignore me you bitch

_Trash™ muted Eyebrows™ for 1 hour_

**Trash™:** d e s g u s t a n g

**Pink Haired Bitch:** He’s right tho. There’s no way the fox would top it just wouldn’t happen 

**Pink Haired Bitch:** In short:

**Pink Haired Bitch:** It'd definitely be the dog 

_Trash™ muted Pink Haired Bitch for 1 hour_

**Bleh:** you gotta admit, he makes a good point

**Trash™:** I can and will mute you

**Saltyshima:** Why is it that quiet/short people are always very loud and annoying online

**Saltyshima:** Also occasionally in real life 

**Guardian Deity:** Because they have more power

**Saltyshima:** That's a stupid reason

**Saltyshima:** And you're just saying that because you're like four feet tall

**Guardian Deity:** I AM VERY TALL

**Saltyshima:** Sure...

**Guardian Deity:** I AM EXTREMELY TALL

**Saltyshima:** I didn't even say anything mean that time

**Guardian Deity:** I AM THE T A L L E S T

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** But aren't you Karasuno's short libero? The one who’s even shorter than Hinata?

**Guardian Deity:** I-

**Guardian Deity:** I AM NOT SHORT. I AM VERY TALL. 

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** You seem pretty short to me though??? 

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** You’re even shorter that Yaku

**Demon Senpai:** Ugh

_Demon Senpai muted RA RA RASPUTIN for one minute_

**Bedhead:** Only a minute hmm...

**Demon Senpai:** Stfu

**Saltyshima:** Are we even allowed to just mute whoever we want for however long we want?

**Saltyshima:** Do groupchats even work like that?

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** As long as you have a good reason

**Saltyshima:** Not wanting to be called short when you are isn't a good reason

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** OVERRULED

**Saltyshima:** This isn't court that's not how it works

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** OVERRULED

**Bakageyama:** What if Hinata is average height and we're all just really tall

**Saltyshima:** That isn't how averages work

**Bakageyama:** OVERRULED

**Saltyshima:** What the fuck

**Bakageyama:** I'm very smort I know how averages work

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** smort

**Bakageyama:** Stfu

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** Damn okay

**Saltyshima:** If you’re so “smort” than how is it that you were late to the training camp because you FAILED

**Saltyshima:** I was forced to teach you for n o t h i n g

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** Ohhhh that's why you guys were late...

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Why did you think we were late???

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** That is not something I can say infront of the children

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** There!!! Aren't!!! Any!!! Children!!! Here!!!

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** false

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** The child is you

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Dang

**Saltyshima:** "dang"

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** Wait so you and Kageyama arent...

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Aren’t what???

**Demon Senpai:** Lev I am going to fucking kill you if you say anything

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** Oop

**Demon Senpai:** 🔪

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** Ya know what never mind

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Dang

**Saltyshima:** Flashback to that time where Hinata and Kageyama got locked in the storage closet and the only thing they did was argue about whos fault it was

**Demon Senpai:** And whos fault was it???

**G u c c i™:** ...

**G u c c i™:** No comment.

**Demon Senpai:** Why is it always Yamaguchi?

**Saltyshima:** Because hes a weirdo

**G u c c i™:** Damn I see how it is Tsukki

**G u c c i™:** Maybe I didn't need that dinosaur plush anyway...

**Saltyshima:** ...

**Saltyshima:** I'm kind of sorry MAYBE I guess

**Saltyshima:** But not really

**G u c c i™:** OK good enough "I guess" ¯\\(o_o)/¯

**Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke:** I literally just woke up...

**Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke:** Is the chat always like this?

**Mr. Refreshing:** Yeah

**Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke:** 🔪🙇♂️

**Mr. Refreshing:** What is t h a t

**Mister No Gaps Kita Shinsuke:** It's me waiting to be killed

**Mr. Refreshing:** Well that's great I guess...

**Pudding Head:** Well for the record, if anyone’s interested I have a bunch of secrets about people here, specifically Kuro

**Bedhead:** W h a t

**Pudding Head:** This is how you’ll repent for your sins

**Bedhead:** Aren’t there better ways for me to repent???

**Pudding Head:** Yeah but this is more fun

**Bedhead:** smh

**Trash™:** I came back when I heard the word secrets now spill

**Bedhead:** I do not approve of this

**Pudding Head:** Ok first, Kuroo a fucking dork

**Bedhead:** n O

**Pudding Head:** He likes science and makes stupid puns all the time is he’s basically just a nerd

**Bedhead:** N O o O o O

**AKAAASHIII:** Once I caught him watching science videos late at night

**Bedhead:** That’s a perfectly normal thing to do

**AKAAASHIII:** The only thing people watch that late at night is porn Kuroo

**Bedhead:** Damn okay, sorry for not being a horny bitch like you clearly are

**AKAAASHIII:** Idk what you're talking about

**Bedhead:** Once you spent five minutes just staring at Bokuto

**AKAAASHIII:** You’re delusional

**AKAAASHIII:** That never happened

**I’m not smiling I swear:** We all saw it 

**Konona:** It was pretty obvious that you were staring at him

**AKAAASHIII:** And it was pretty obvious when you snuck out late at night during the training camp to get food but no one’s talking about that huh

**Konoha:** Hunger cannot be controlled, horniness can

**AKAAASHIII:** Tell that to someone who need to hear it more than me

**AKAAASHIII:** Like Oikawa

**Trash™:** Aren’t we supposedly to be spilling secrets

**Trash™:** Like how I got Tobio to admit he has a crush~

**Bakageyama:** Oikawa’s a liar

**Trash™:** You tell _one_ girl that you’re straight and _suddenly_ you’re a liar 

**Muscle Man:** I asked you if you wanted to watch Godzilla with me once in elementary school and twenty minutes in you started complaining about how much you hated it and how it was “super boring”

**Muscle Man:** So clearly you are a liar

**Saltyshima:** And no ones gonna mention the fact that the king has a crush? Ok then

**Bakageyama:** Because I don’t have a crush

**Saltyshima:** Defensive much?

**Bakageyama:** I don’t have a crush on anyone on our team idk what you’re talking about

**Saltyshima:** Lmao I didn’t even say anything about the team

**Saltyshima:** I can already tell your crush is the simpleton idiot huh

**Bakageyama:** I don’t have a crush on Hinata

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** I just came back from helping Natsu with her homework, she’s probably gonna fail tho...

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** ...huh

**Saltyshima:** oop

**Bakageyama:** Tsukishima is just being his usual DUMB SELF

**Bakageyama:** r i g h t?

**Saltyshima:** Lmao

**Saltyshima:** Not really but whatever

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Anyway...

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Goodnight!!!

**Saltyshima:** It’s not even that late at night

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Yeah it is! I have to get a bunch of sleep so Ican play volleyball tomorrow!!!

**Saltyshima:** Istg you only think about volleyball

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Why would I need to think about anything else?

**Saltyshima:** I-

**Saltyshima:** Lmao never mind pls go away

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** R

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** U

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** D

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** I’m still here tho :)

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** E

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** You messed it up...

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** I have to go to sleep before I get yelled at so bye Lev!

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** Smh he left

**Demon Senpai:** are you actually stupid? just go to sleep...

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** :))

**Demon Senpai:** Nope

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** :((

**Demon Senpai:** Ughhhh

**Demon Senpai:** Goodnight Lev I guess

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** :)))

**Demon Senpai:** 🖕🏻🔪

**RA RA RASPUTIN:** 😀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Th Fox and the Hound made me scared of both dogs and foxes when I first saw it lmao
> 
> I’m about to binge watch all of Fire Force oh fuck
> 
> I also watched Death Parade and that shit hurted
> 
> But I’m incapable if crying more than three tears sooo
> 
> Like I got the ending if Banana Fish spoiled for me and i shed like two tears not even
> 
> Even if it hadn’t been spoiled I wouldn’t have been that sad about it lmao


	10. Shits Happenin Now/No it Ain’t Never-mind/Oh Wait Yes It Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pink Haired Bitch changed their name to Yahaba But For Real
> 
> Eyebrows™ changed their name to Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal
> 
> Mr. Refreshing: “Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal”
> 
> Mr. Refreshing: Also are we not gonna talk about Tendou hallucinating things in his mind
> 
> Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal: “Yahaba! How dare you betray me like this!”
> 
> Yahaba But For Real: “It’s not my fault! It was an accident!”
> 
> Mr. Refreshing: Ok, I guess not then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wouldn’t post cuz of restrictions on my iPad lmao
> 
> I really had to censor the word p*rn for this to post I-
> 
> Anyway yeah that’s what this chapter is about and also there’s spoilers for MHA seasons one two and three uhhh
> 
> I regret this chapter but a girls gotta post what a girls gotta post oops
> 
> Oh yeah another ship becomes canon lol
> 
> This is like the fifth fucking time I forgot to post this chapter oops sorry y’all but writing couples is hard and I’ve been watching RUN BTS all day

**Guess Monster™:** Anyone else remember that time when two of Seijohs members had a fight in the middle of the game or is my mind making things up again

 **Eyebrows™:** Lmaoo

 **Eyebrows™:** I remember that

 **Eyebrows™:** The sexual tension then and after the game was rEAL

 **Michigan:** What was that fight even about?

 **Pink Haired Bitch:** I’m too lazy to remember so I’d guess it went something like this

 **Pink Haired Bitch:** Wait lemme set up for the production

 **Michigan:** Huhhh

 **Michigan:** What production

 **Eyebrows™:** Shhhh

 **Eyebrows™:** The show is starting

_Pink Haired Bitch changed their name to Yahaba But For Real_

_Eyebrows™ changed their name to Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal_

**Mr. Refreshing:** “Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal”

 **Mr. Refreshing:** Also are we not gonna talk about Tendou hallucinating things in his mind

 **Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal:** “Yahaba! How dare you betray me like this!”

 **Yahaba But For Real:** “It’s not my fault! It was an accident!”

 **Mr. Refreshing:** Ok, I guess not then

 **Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal:** “How do you accidentally play our tape on loud speakers!”

 **Mr. Refreshing:** H u h

 **Michigan:** My pure, virgin eyes have been tainted

 **Tiny Giant 2.0:** What’s going on?

 **Yahaba But For Real:** “I was listening to it on the walk to school and I had to play something on my speaker for English, but when I connected it the loud moans were on 100% volume for the while class to hear!”

 **Tiny Giant 2.0:** The what 

**Yahaba:** What’s going on? My phones blowing up and I forgot to mute the chat again

 **Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal:** *Slams against wall* “Wanna give the people here a live performance?”

 **Yahaba:**...

 **Yahaba:** w t f

 **Yahaba But For Real:** Oh hey Yahaba, cone to see the performance?

 **Yahaba But For Real:** *Blushes loudly* “Maybe I do...”

 **Mr.Refreshing:** Ok that’s enough

 **Mr.Refreshing:** No re-enacting p*rn in front of the children

 **Yahaba But For Real:** Fine then...

_Yahaba But For Real changed their name to Pink Haired Bitch But Better_

_Very Angry Domesticated Carnivorous Mammal changed their name to Eyebrows But With Eyes_

**Mr. Refreshing:** _😦_

 **Tiny Giant 2.0:** P*rn? What’s that

 **Mr. Refreshing:** You’ll never find out on my watch

 **Bakageyama:** You’re so dumb Hinata

 **Tiny Giant 2.0:** Oh yeah? Do YOU know what p*rn is

 **Mr. Refreshing:** Please never type that word again

 **Bakageyama:** Of course I do dumbass

 **Mr. Refreshing:** Who told the other child what p*rn is

 **Trash™:** Umm

 **Trash™:** Not me, oh no definitely not me...

 **Mr. Refreshing:** I-

 **Mr. Refreshing:** 👁👄👁

 **Pink Haired Bitch But Better:** Speaking of p*rn...

 **Mr. Refreshing:** Please, for the love of god no more p*rn

 **Pink Haired Bitch abut Better:** I was just gonna ask what jobs we think we'll have for those of us who won’t go pro

 **Pudding Head:** Hmm

 **Pudding Head:** I’ve put a lot if thought into what I’m about to say,

 **Pudding Head:** I think Kuro would be a p*rnstar

 **Mr. Refreshing:** I JUST said no more p*rn are y’all deaf or something

 **Bedhead:** I-

 **Bedhead:** 💀

 **G u c c i™:** I mean...

 **G u c c i™:** I can see it happening

 **Bedhead:** Weren’t we saying how I’m actually just a science nerd like one chapter ago??

 **Pudding Head:** Yeah but we aren’t talking about that so it doesn’t matter

 **AKAAASHIII:** How much time is one chapter 

**Bedhead:** I N F I N I T Y

 **Horned Owl Bastard:** I think AGHHASSSHHEE would make a good p*rnstar!!!

 **AKAAASHIII:** I-

 **AKAAASHIII:** Thank You??

 **En-NO-Shita:** I mean, everyone here could be a p*rnstar if they really wanted to

 **Bald:** HELL YEAHH!!! WE’RE HOT AS FUCK

 **En-NO-Shita:** When I said everyone here I didn’t mean you

 **Trash™:** Everyone though??

 **Trash™:** I mean I’d obviously be the best p*rnstar to ever exist but... everyone??

 **En-NO-Shita:** I mean y'all are hot so... yeah

 **Trash™:** Even those two extras on Karasuno???

 **Bald:** HEYY

 **Bald:** KINOSHITA AND NARITA AREN’T EXTRAS

 **Bald:** They aren’t even here to defend themselves smh

 **Bald:** Also tf you mean extras what kind of Bakugou Blasty Mc’splode bullshit is this

 **Trash™:** They seem like extras to me 🥴

 **Trash™:** Bakugou is great and I can and will write a whole essay on why he’s one of the best characters

 **Ushiwaka:** Didn’t he tell Deku to kill himself?

 **Trash™:** DON’T FUCKING TEST ME USHIWAKA

 **Bald:** added Walmart Naruto and Background Character #53 to 𝔁𝓾𝓮🥶𝓱𝓾𝓪🧚♀️𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸😻𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸🗿𝓫𝓮𝓲👺𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓰🤩𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸😼𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸👣

 **Trash™:** Bakugou was only thirteen or fourteen at the time, he was a teenager, we make mistakes, even Deku knew he didn't mean it. Bakugou was told all his life that because he had a nice quirk, he was better than those who didn’t. He linked self worth to how good ones quirk is, so when Deku didn’t have one, he bullied him, thinking he was worthless. Bakugou wasn’t even the only one to bully him, all the other kids did too, so he was probably told worse things than that. Since he was constantly being praised, not for his personality but for his quirk, he truly believed he was the best. The constant praise put tons of pressure on him that he had to be the best at everything, so every failure just made him more and more insecure. Cut to when the sludge villain is attacking him. Bakugou sees that as a failure, and the fact that Deku tried to save him just makes it worse. The small things that happen after they graduate are what makes things so much worse. Not only are there people who have the potential or already are better than him in 1-A, but Deku manages to join UA and the Hero Course. And when he found out that Deku only got the quirk recently, the fact that he was that powerful already makes him even more of a threat. And technically losing to Deku made Bakugou realize that not only can Deku catch up, but he can fail. He won the Hero Tournament, but only because his opponent was holding back, which he didn’t do. More incidents like this make him feel even worse. THEN, he gets kidnapped by the LOV and again, he needs help from someone else. Later Bakugou realizes how Deku got his quirk, and a while after, All Might is forced to retire. With all if this, Bakugou believes it’s his fault, and losing the provisional license exam before doesn’t help, especially since Deku, once again passed, when he didn’t. These thoughts make him look for Deku to fight him and prove to himself that he’s still the best. Bakugou lets his emotions out during the fight, asking how he ended up chasing after someone so far behind him. Questioning why a weakling like Deku got to become so strong, the sidekick to the #1 hero. He talks about how he thinks it’s his fault that All Might retired. He says that if he’d been stronger, if he hadn’t been kidnapped, than All Might would have been fine. He says that it’s all he can think about. Bakugous honestly just a child, a victim of what happens when someone is pressured. He expresses how he feels he didn’t live up to expectations, and how he now views himself as a failure. Basically Bakugou is a cool MHA character and that’s just the truth. Not justifying him telling Deku to kill himself, but it doesn't make him a bad person in any way, shape or form.

 **Bleh:**...

 **Bleh:** There is no way you typed that all out just now

 **Trash™:** I have that paragraph saved in the notes app so I can always come to my husbands defense 🥴

 **Pudding Head:** I though Iwaizumi was your husband??

 **Trash™:** He is!! But who says I can’t have both 😳

 **Pudding Head:** Probably the law but whatever

 **Yahaba:** So you guys are just gonna pretend that whole role play thing didn’t happen? 

**Pink Haired Bitch But Better:** I mean... yeah?

 **Yahaba:** Ughhh

 **Yahaba:** Istg if you don’t delete those messages rn 

**Eyebrows But With Eyes:** Why though? It’s not like later it’s gonna somehow blow up in your face

 **Yahaba:** That’s exactly what it’s going to do

 **Eyebrows But With Eyes:** 👁👁

 **Eyebrows But With Eyes:** And may I ask... hOW this is going to blow up in your face

 **Yahaba:** Because I may have a small amount of romantic feelings for a certain person who happens to be on our volleyball team who hAPPENS to be one of the very people you mentioned earlier??

 **MadDog:** 1\. Uhh

 **MadDog:** 2\. UHHHH

 **MadDog:** Wot

 **Yahaba:** Uh

 **Yahaba:** Excuse me while I go jump off the nearest bridge,

_Yahaba has left the chat_

**Eyebrows But With Eyes:** I wasn’t expecting him to admit it but...

 **Eyebrows But With Eyes:** I’d call this mission a success!

 **MadDog:** Uhh

 **MadDog:** You sure about that?

 **Eyebrows But With Eyes:** Yuh❤️

 **MadDog:** Yahaba just left the chat to go jump off a bridge after admitting he had a crush on me and... this is a “success” to you??

 **Eyebrows But With Eyes:** We’re in the middle of several different missions to get future couples to admit their love faster, just admitting to a crush is a win in my book

 **MadDog:** I think you need to revise the rules of that book of yours but whatever 

**MadDog:** I have to go engage in a conversation now thanks to YOU

 **Pink Haired Bitch But Better:** Yeah yeah you can thank us later 

**MadDog:** I wasn’t thanking you you fucking donkey

 **Pink Haired Bitch But Better:** Kids these days are so damn rude...

 **Bedhead:** Fr

**[Private Chat Between Yahaba and MadDog]**

**MadDog:** Hey, can we talk?

 **Yahaba:** Sorry too busy committing a Daichi ttyl

 **MadDog:** Wh-

 **Yahaba:**...

 **Yahaba:** Nvm

 **MadDog:** Can I talk to you then?

 **Yahaba:** Idk, Can you?

 **MadDog:** Yes

 **Yahaba:** Don’t even bother saying anything

 **Yahaba:** I already know what you’re gonna say

 **MadDog:** That I’m gay as fuck and I’d like to date you??

 **Yahaba:** I was thinking more, “I’m not gay but wE cAn StiLL bE fRiEndS?”

 **Yahaba:** wait what

 **MadDog:** I’m not saying it again

 **Yahaba:** *typing

 **MadDog:** Request withdrawn, the person you are texting is no longer accepting applications due to private circumstances such as too many spelling corrections.

 **Yahaba:** bITCH-

 **MadDog:** If you don’t answer in the next thirty seconds I’m blocking your stupid ass forever

 **Yahaba:** You’re annoying and I hate you 

**Yahaba:** Why do I like you you fucking overgrown cockroach

 **MadDog:** Fifteen more seconds

 **Yahaba:** Uhh

 **Yahaba:** Uhhhhh

 **MadDog:** Ten more seconds

 **Yahaba:** F I N E

 **Yahaba:** I gUESS

 **Yahaba:** I’LL GO ON A DATE WITH YOU

 **MadDog:** huh

 **MadDog:** Honestly I thought you were gonna say no lmao

 **Yahaba:** Why?? Would?? I?? Say?? No??

 **MadDog:** I mean,

 **MadDog:** People don’t usually tend to actually like me.

 **MadDog:** Actually, Why do you like me again??

 **Yahaba:** Oh look at that my dog is trying to eat my little sister gotta go-

 **MadDog:** You don’t have a dog smh

 **MadDog:** Or a little sister for that matter

 **Yahaba** **:** How do you even know that?

 **MadDog:** Because I remember when the third years were talking about pets and you said you didn’t have any??

 **Yahaba:** And you remembered this, for what??

 **MadDog:** Because it’s important info to know?

 **MadDog:** Anyway I still need you to answer the question

 **Yahaba:** I- Um- Ok???

 **Yahaba:** You constantly work hard to improve

 **Yahaba:** And ur hot

 **Yahaba:** And you’re rlly funny all the time

 **Yahaba:** And good at every subject

 **Yahaba:** Did I mention that you’re hot asf?

 **MadDog:** Ueha

 **MadDog:** Holy shit 5at typo was rough

 **MadDog:** Bruh

 **Yahaba:** Anyway I gotta go water my mom now bye-

 **MadDog:** Bitch-

_An hour later..._

**Yahaba:** Oh wait..

 **Yahaba:** MeetmeattheparkonsaturdaynextweekathtebenchbytheswingsI’llbetheretotalktoyoualsoyoubettergivemecomplimentsyouhoettylbye-

 **MadDog:** 💀

 **MadDog:** I’ll be there 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all like that Bakugou paragraph? Cause I sure do
> 
> Anyway yeah stan Bakugou he’s a super complex character and this is a Haikyuu fic why am I talking about MHA-
> 
> Was gonna post this yesterday but I forgot and this morning my mom showed me multiple dead fish in the sink and I sobbed cuz it was gross and now my head hurts 
> 
> I’m now watching Fruits Basket and I want to punch Kyo in his stupid cat face smh
> 
> Update: I got spoilers for Fruits Basket and I’m gonna watch Hitorijime My Hero instead cause of ✨reasons✨
> 
> Update 2: I binge watched all of The Ones Within instead, definitely in love with Zakuro 
> 
> Update 3: Oops forgot to post this again, Haikyuu manga is ending today, nothing matters cause Haikyuu is gone 😔😭
> 
> Update 4: That was four days ago, I’ve cried like ten times over Haikyuu ending headcanons on Tiktok like: “Kenma ends up late to his first class of third year cause he wait’s for Kuroo to come but then he remembers that he graduated already” or some shit cause they hURT-


	11. And no one’s gonna help him? Wow, some world we live in...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Dad™: Wh-
> 
> Team Dad™: Kageyama I’m pretty sure your sister was on her period 
> 
> Bakageyama: What does punctuation have to do with this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh hey y’all, how you doin- 
> 
> So I started school, and I absolutely hate it 😀
> 
> I've seen that one Soobin Dolphin fancam so many times and I will NEVER get tired of it
> 
> I made a whole ass K-Pop playlist for boy groups I stan and I'm lowkey concerned that by the end of the month there won't be enough space for me to fit all the groups-
> 
> BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA BUCKET HAT KENMA 
> 
> Stream Back Door by Stray Kids you haven’t 😌

**Bakageyama:** Day 15 of quarantine life. Today my mom went to the store for my sister. She was complaining a lot about having stomach pains so I asked her if she got stabbed or something, then she laughed at me. I’m not sure what was so funny about it, but she did mention how if I didn’t shut up she’d get blood on my sheets so I’m guessing that she just didn’t want to mention being stabbed to Mom.

**Team Dad™:** Wh-

**Bakageyama:** hUH

**Bakageyama:** this isn’t the notes app is it 

**Team Dad™:** Kageyama I’m pretty sure your sister was on her period 

**Bakageyama:** What does punctuation have to do with this?

**Saltyshima:** Wow, I didn’t know you knew the word punctuation 

**Saltyshima:** Also are you really that fucking stupid 

**Background Character #53:** Considering the fact that he got a 20 on those practice tests, I’m gonna go with yes

**An Annoying Asshole:** Really came for his neck huh

**Bakageyama:** Stfu your school mascot is a fucking cow 

**An Annoying Asshole:** I-

**An Annoying Asshole:** It’s an eagle you dumb fuck

**Bakageyama:** Well it’s the losing to a team that hasn’t won in years even though you’re a powerhouse for me

**Trash™:** Tobio that was outta pockettt-

**Trash™:** Clearly I taught you well 😜

**An Annoying Asshole:** Shut your bitch ass up you lost to them too ya know

**Trash™:** That was so not plus ultra

**Trash™:** But you still l-o-s-t

**An Annoying Asshole:** It's the trying to make friends in middle school and them all hating you for me

**Bakageyama:** It’s the replacing a third year on your team except they hate you now for me

**Mr. Refreshing:** 👀

**Semi Semi:** 👁👁

**An Annoying Asshole:** Not the ordering your teammates around

**Bakageyama:** Not the boy who’s 5 foot eight trying to talk big

**An Annoying Asshole:** Not the guy who’s straight talking 😬

**Mr. Refreshing:** Since when is Kageyama straight...

**Team Dad™:** Shh just let him figure it out himself

**Bakageyama:** At least one of my teammates wasn’t a leash kid 

**Guess Monster™:** Still am 😼

**Tiny Giant 2.0:** Feeling: Attacked

**An Annoying Asshole:** Come back after passing basic math thanks

**Bakageyama:** Bruh your teams' coach is a senile old man who's probably never played volleyball in his life

**An Annoying Asshole:** This coming from someone who’s only good at volleyball? Ok then,,

**Bakageyama:** At least I don’t look like my hair is cut with a goddamn ruler

**An Annoying Asshole:** Bitch fuck you my hair is perfect

**Bakageyama:** Perfect to make fun of maybe

**An Annoying Asshole:** At least one of my teammates didn’t fucking die on the court

**Team Dad™: 💀**

**An Annoying Asshole:** Yes that exactly

**Bakageyama:** At least my teammates actually like me

**An Annoying Asshole:** Are you sure about that

**Bakageyama:** I’m not as bad as you, so I’d say they do 

**An Annoying Asshole:** Your ego is bigger than Jeffree Star’s and that’s saying something

**Bakageyama:** If you wanna say something about a big ego you should talk to Oikawa about it

**Bakageyama:** After all, he is the blueprint 🥴 

**Scared:** Did you know that that’s the emoji that appears when you type “woozy”?

**The Normal One:** I-

**The Normal One:** How do you even know that???

**Burnt Ashes™:** Probably some guy idk

**Scared:** I’m? A?? Lesbian??? Men???? Are????? Scary??????

**Burnt Ashes™:** Oh

**Burnt Ashes™:** Congrats on not being attracted to men I guess

**The Normal One:** Wow, you finally said something smart

**The Normal One:** For that, I'll change your name to something more ✨✨fitting✨✨

_The Normal One changed Burnt Ashes™ name to A Homeless Man 👨_

**A Homeless Man 👨:** Bitch bye

**A Homeless Man 👨:** You hoes won’t respect me but little do you know I have secret info on you allll

**The Normal One:** Damn okay, tone it down Sangwoo Kinnie

**A Homeless Man 👨:** I hope you choke on a fucking stick

**The Normal One:** Great, haven’t practiced deepthroating in a while

**Scared:** I am but a lowly child why must you curse my eyes like this

**A Homeless Man 👨:** 😛

.

.

.

.

.

**Scared:** So are Kageyama and Shirabu gonna keep insulting each other or-

**An Annoying Asshole:** I mean we can continue 👀

**Scared:** Actually nevermind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I have nothing against straight people (I’m bi)  
> I do, however, absolutely hate Tony Lopez and his stupid fucking face
> 
> Not me spending all my time on tiktok, no sir not mE
> 
> Daily Reminder that has nothing to do with this chapter but if you support Trump never read this fic again cause I hate that ugly bitch 😌
> 
> Tendou and Hinata were leash kids you can't convince me otherwise
> 
> Oh yeah I'll be posting another chapter like half the length of this one in a sec cause it looked better by itself even though it's short as hell


	12. Not Y'all Being Criminals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lazy Setter: My boyfriend is a soon to be criminal lmao
> 
> Bored Setter: I knew this would happen
> 
> Bored Setter: I warned you about this
> 
> Lazy Setter: Bokuto is with him
> 
> Bored Setter: ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's that short ass chapter y'all

[4:45 PM]

[Private Chat Between: Shitty Nerd and Gremlin]

**Shitty Nerd:** I think it would be best if you didn’t talk to me for the next hour considering I am currently running from the police

 **Gremlin:** ...

 **Gremlin:** Huh.

 **Gremlin:** Uh anyways the Back Door MV came out already so I'll be doing that

 **Shitty Nerd:** My boyfriend doesn’t even care abt my wellbeing 😔 

**Gremlin:** I’m pretty sure colleges don’t like criminal records Kuro

 **Shitty Nerd:** That exactly why I’m running duh 🙄 

**Gremlin:** 💀

 **Shitty Nerd:** Oh yeah can you tell Akaashi that his boyfriend is with me and also a potential criminal

 **Gremlin:** Bruh

[4:56]

[Built: Different🥶💯]

**Lazy Setter:** My boyfriend is a soon to be criminal lmao

 **Bored Setter:** I knew this would happen

 **Bored Setter:** I warned you about this

 **Lazy Setter:** Bokuto is with him

 **Bored Setter:**...

 **BEST SETTER:** MY Iwa-chan would never

 **Lazy Setter:** He isn't even your boyfriend yet stfu

 **BEST SETTER:** I'M GETTING THERE

 **Salty Setter:** To his hate list maybe 💀

 **BEST SETTER:** Someones salty as always

 **Salty Setter:** Not salty, just annoyed

 **Refreshing Setter:** Same vibes as "I'm not mad, just disappointed"

 **BEST SETTER:** That sounds like something you would say tho

 **Refreshing Setter:** Nah, I'm a cool mom 😼

 **Lazy Setter:** Uh brb I have to go yell at this seven-year-old

 **Bored Setter:** what

 **Lazy Setter:** It's very therapeutic y'all should try it

 **Lazy Setter:** Also yelling at kids who deserve it until they cry is fun

 **Lazy Setter:** I mean there are nice kids but they all know better than to yell at highschoolers so...

 **BEST SETTER:** How you gonna yell at children like you didn't grow your hair out for the sole purpose of not seeing everyone and not feeling their eyes on you 

**Bored Setter:** Lemme look away 🙈

 **BEST SETTER:** Isn't that what the hair is for-

 **Lazy Setter:** This is bullying and I will not stand for it

 **BEST SETTER:** Then sit down

 **Lazy Setter:** Yeah lemme sit right on the lap of my boyfriend, you should too. 

**Lazy Setter:** Oh wait, you don't have one.

 **Refreshing Setter:** You really- bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seungmin dancing to Back Door has been in my head since it was posted 😭
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8szXgqpNQ8w
> 
> Also this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBTCP34PPW4
> 
> UGH I LOVE HIM
> 
> Planning on rewatching Haikyuu again instead of finishing BSD lmao
> 
> Bruh I've read so many awesome Soukoku fics and I haven't even started season two


	14. its me again uh-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is important i think

I'm just gonna get straight to the point with this: I DO NOT plan on abandoning this fic, and by this time next month [or hopefully before that if I'm not lazy] ill have rewritten what i want to and reuploaded the chapters. BUT i have a question because I'm not sure what to do:

A. Put this fic on permanent hiatus and start a NEW haikyuu chatfic that yall can read instead of this cringy one

or

B. Re write the chapters and replace them with the ones currently written without making a whole new fanfic

I'm not sure which I should do [or if people are still reading this] but assuming some of yall ARE and you want me to continue the fic then i will and if not then id put this fic on permanent hiatus and start a new one 

so yeah if anyone who reads this could comment what they want me to do that would be great that's all-

Again, I don't plan on putting this fic on hiatus and I'm in the process of writing a new less cringy fic but I want yalls opinions so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment ur answer to my question thanks lol

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to not change the topic every two seconds but that just how it be ya know?
> 
> So yeah I decided to make a group chat fic and I'm already regretting it
> 
> eat spaghetti to lose your regretti
> 
> See y'all next time
> 
> Jk jk
> 
> ...unless


End file.
